we Page 291 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Western Michigan Player Collapses After Play Officials Rule Completely Legal
Western Michigan receiver Carrington Thompson needed help getting off the field after a hit left him so dazed he collapsed after trying to walk away from the play:...

UNC Kicker Taunts Florida State With Tomahawk Chop After Nailing Game-Winner
Through three quarters, North Carolina managed to contain Dalvin Cook and the Florida State offense while still being explosive on offense, per usual. This allowed the Tar Heels to head into the final period up 28-14 on the No. 12 Seminoles. UNC ended up needing a miraculous 54-yard field goal from ...

Down A Skipper, Western Bulldogs Capture First AFL Premiership In 62 Years
Were it not for Leicester City, the Western Bulldogs would have an easy claim to the most heartwarming underdog story of 2016....

Boxer Mike Towell Dies After Being Injured In Bout
Scottish boxer Mike Towell has died after suffering bleeding and swelling to his brain following a fight on Thursday....

No, Josh Gordon Did Not Get Caught With A Pound Of Weed At The Airport
Last night, Scout.com reported that Josh Gordon got popped trying to bring a pound of weed onto a flight from Cleveland to L.A., and that the smuggling incident is what prompted him to check into rehab. Here’s the extremely strange crux of the supposed incident, which happened after Gordon made his ...

Ambitious Running Back Flips Over, Through Would-Be Tackler For Spectacular Touchdown
This here is Michael Anderson of Division II West Virginia Wesleyan, taking the path of most resistance in for the touchdown....

Where Did Alabama Linebacker Tim Williams Get That Weed? He Got It From, Uh, Brandon Chicken
Alabama starting outside linebacker Tim Williams was arrested early Thursday morning for possessing a firearm without a permit. Were it not for the existence of Williams’s totally real and not-at-all imaginary friend, Brandon Chicken, he might have been hit with a drug charge, too....

Rex Ryan Posed As A Reporter To Ask Julian Edelman If He'd Be Playing QB
Who will quarterback the Patriots this weekend? Jacoby Brissett? Jimmy Garappolo? Julian Edelman? Everyone involved in this weekend’s Patriots-Bills game is interested in finding out, nobody more so than Bills coach Rex Ryan. So he performed some extremely simple subterfuge on a conference call with...

Aledmys Díaz Returns From José Fernández's Memorial, Smacks First Career Grand Slam
Cardinals shortstop Aledmys Díaz grew up on the same street as José Fernández in Santa Clara, Cuba, and the two players have been friends since their early childhoods. Fernández said that Diaz’s father and uncle helped get him started playing baseball, and their families are still close. The loss wa...

Tom Brady's Apparently Been Spending His Suspension Tanning His Butt
The New York Post just published a cool update on how Tom Brady’s been spending his Ballghazi suspension: tanning his large white ass in Italy....

Donald Trump Jr. Has Spent Years Fighting Twitter's Haters And Losers<em></em>
Twitter is full of idiots. Trolls, PC police, assholes, liberals—each one of them more infuriating than the last. And who, I ask, would be brave enough to tell these slobbering social justice warriors just how bad they really are if not for the wealthy and powerful children of celebrities? No one. T...

How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...

Report: Jacoby Brissett Needs Surgery On His Thumb
New England Patriots quarterback Jacoby Brissett injured his thumb in Thursday’s game against the Houston Texans and will need surgery, according to Mike Petraglia of WEEI....

Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...

It's Time To Once Again Help Prove That Average Fans Are The Best Scouts In Baseball
One of the best off-field developments in baseball this year was MLB bringing in pseudonymous saberist Tom Tango to work with their Statcast data, the product of player-tracking technology that promises to unlock such mysteries of the game as the relative values of positioning and reaction time, and...

The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...


Don't Have Opinions About Other People's Underwear
Are your underwear emitting an odor of feces or stale urine or stagnant crotch-and-ass sweat that I can smell from a normal, respectful distance? Are you wearing some form of outer garment between your underwear and the outside world? Are you someone with whose underwear I may interact directly in t...

Here's A Truly Bonkers One-Handed Catch
Look at this catch, man. ...
