we Page 639 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
HOLY SHIT GIANT RAT IMPALED ON PITCHFORK
Let's stop worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes (and, for the east coast, natural disaster inferiority) and devote some time to the problem of the giant, possibly mutant rats living underneath our buildings....
32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The 2011 Football Outsiders Almanac
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12 or order the book for $21.95....
New Hampshire Salutes World Champion Bruins In Most New Hampshire Way Possible: With A Corn Maze
This is a 12-acre corn maze at Sherman Farm in idyllic Conway, N.H., where the farmers live free or die and also have too much time on their hands. Their work has gotten some press, and the folks at Sherman Farm are rather astounded by the reaction. After Puck Daddy picked up the story earlier today...
More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?
Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress....
I Have Spent All Night Searching For Unintentional Dong Shapes In Hurricane Irene Images, You Bastards
It's August 25, the day after we were told that yesterday's shorter WUD post format was unacceptable. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors...
Report: Mike Flanagan Killed Himself Over 'Prolonged Failure' Of The Baltimore Orioles (Updated)
WBAL reports that former Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan, television announcer and top executive, was found dead on his Baltimore County property Wednesday afternoon and that sources confirmed that Flanagan took his own life 'despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he ...
Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....
Relief: Oddibe McDowell Has Paid His Overdue Water Bill, And This Month's Water Bill Is Only $59.39
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services. Earlier coverage of Oddibe McDowell's water bill:...
Go Forth And Spread The Good Word That Tim Tebow Is Essentially The Broncos' Fourth-String QB
"[O]ne highly knowledgeable member of the organization told me Monday, 'If everything was totally equal, and this were a competition based only on performance at this camp, Tebow would probably be the fourth-string guy. Kyle [Orton] is far and away the best, and Tebow's way behind [Brady] Quinn, too...
Maryland Football Players Will Dress In Whatever Clown Suit Under Armour Tells Them To
These new uniforms are the work of Under Armour. In their combinatoric ugliness, they are seemingly modeled on Nike's gear for Oregon, which is to say the uniforms are there to turn a bunch of under-compensated college kids into dress-up dollies modeling whatever hideous new breathable wear the comp...
Albert Haynesworth Has Two Words For Washington
It's not "fuck you." It might as well be....
Bill Belichick Wants To Abolish The Extra Point, Because Why The Hell Not?
Hooded evil genius cum Patriots coach Bill Belichick has a weekly radio appearance on WEEI—unlike David Portnoy—and, in this week's, he just started spitballing. It's the preseason, and the Patriots have been an easy 2-0, so, why bother with talking about the team?...
Kansas College Suspends Its Golfers For Dongish Facebook Photo, But Team Captain Jack Hiscock Says They're Appealing The Suspension
Lindsborg, Kansas's tiny Bethany College—a Lutheran school, home of the Fighting Swedes—has suspended its entire golf team for three tournaments as a punishment for taking the above naked photo together. You can't see any dong in the shot, but it's there, under the golfing gear....
San Francisco 49ers-Oakland Raiders Annual Preseason Series May Be Eliminated Due To Crazy Fan Violence
"Raiders and 49ers expected to issue a joint statement announcing that their annual exhibition series will be suspended."[Via Tim Kawakami]...
Man With Rotting, Cancerous Penis Claims Surgeon Removed Rotting, Cancerous Penis Without Permission
"[Phillip, penis-less man]Seaton's lawyer, Kevin George, told the jury during opening arguments that his client doesn't feel like a man. He showed the jury four photographs of Seaton's groin saying, "You can see there's nothing there." Four photographs seems excessive. [Jackson Sun]...
Gird Your Loins, Green Bay: Some Dude Is Running Around Town Pretending To Be Brett Favre
We hear completely retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre is pretty revered up in Wisconsin. Especially in the town of Green Bay. Midwesterners are forgiving folks, and they put up with the whole dong-texting and playing-for-the-Vikings thing. So, as you might expect, some dude (pictured above) pretend...
The NFL "Fineable Offenses" List, As Interpreted By The Underpant Gnomes
Apparently, the National Football League distributed its "list of fineable offenses" to players and others today. Tweeted Vikings kicker Chris Kluwe, "Some scallywag decided to condense the list down," a comment accompanied by photography....
Pitcher, Batter Reconcile HBP Over Twitter: "Just Grazed The Schnaz A Little Bit"
This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation. Last night, Toronto's Brandon Morrow hit Mariner Casper Wells with a pitch. The outfielder was forced to sit out the remainder of the game, which deprived him of the chance to extend his home run streak to five straight games....
Diddy Goes To School With Russell Westbrook And Baron Davis
Your morning roundup for Aug. 18, the day the kids and the dog prevented a dude from stealing our van. Photo via @kevinlove. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....