we Page 744 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Cannot Destroy Priest Holmes
Of all the possible ways for a retired athlete to deal with the crushing blow of realizing that the only skill he's ever possessed is suddenly beyond his grasp, we supposed an "ill-fated comeback attempt" is above "winning 'Dancing With The Stars'" ... but just barely....
Charlie Weis, Unsuccessful In Obese Litigation
Say what you will about Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis, but you can't say he isn't constantly charging forward. Whether it's recruiting, attacking a Cover 2 or, you know, gastric bypass surgery, the guy makes up his mind and just GOES FOR IT, MAN. Suck Off The Fat Like A Champion. Unfortunately, such...
Bonds Planning To Break Aaron's Record In Private, Backyard Ceremony
Our story so far: Barry Bonds is two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron's career home run record, a situation which makes the lightning bolt scar on my forehead throb and burn like fire, but that's beside the point. Bonds sat out Sunday's game in Milwaukee, which the Brewers won 7-5. Meanwhile, Bu...
Sergi...NO! (Do You See What I Did There?)
Holy shit. My boy Paddy Harrington did everything he could to hand Sergio Garcia his first Major Championship. He even hit a ball into the burn on the last hole...twice! When Garcia stepped on to the 18th tee he knew he needed par to take home the (Maurice) Claret Jug. You just had to know he'd find...
Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...
Getting Meta With Kige
Deadspin's favorite YouTube sports commentator is back on the ebays and he's been lurking around these parts. Kige Ramsey heard about the NFL's plan to cover media members with pieces of flair, and he is none too happy. Listen up NFL executives, you do not want to put Kige in a corner....
Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...
Bonds Might Do This This Weekend
After his two home runs yesterday, everybody's favorite beacon of light Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron. Perhaps you've heard about this. He's got three games in Bud Selig's hometown of Milwaukee to go for it this weekend, and then comes home for a week. It's possible he...
Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while you carve soap ... • Welterweight Boxing: Gatti vs. Gomez, Cintron vs. Matthysse and Margarito vs. Williams. Unsilent Majority highly recommends this. [HBO] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 7. From Bourg-en-Bresse to Le Grand-Bornand and back. OK, not back. [Versus] • TNA Wrestli...
Dog Days Of All-Star Week
• What a dull week. • Not a happy time at Dan Shaughnessy's Amazon page. • Everywhere you look, there is Spike The Super Ball. • Kige Ramsey makes the world a better place. • Have a Coke and smile. • Jared Allen, signing things that aren't fun to have signed. • We hear Simmons is definitely doing an...
Who Will Be the Next Sports Figure To Get Gastric Bypass Surgery?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Finally, Some Damn Sports
Any other day of the season, tonight's abbreviated slate of baseball games would lack much noteworthy. But cripes, folks, it has been almost four days since we had any baseball. Around noon yesterday, we started to shake....
Barry Bonds' Last Friends In The World
Bud Selig can take some solace in the world: Not everyone is gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over Barry Bonds' impending destruction of Hank Aaron's home run record....
Tim Legler Is INTENSE
From the now defunct Awesome USA! blog, here's what appears to be ESPN NBA analyst Tim Legler awfully intense on a roller coaster....