we Page 749 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

The Edge Of Wetness
The other day we reported on the glory that is Pee Your Pants For The Brewers, the site that wants you to pledge to pee your pants should Milwaukee win the NL Central (no fair buying pre-peed pants). In less than a week, an additional 1,644 people have vowed to wet themselves should the Brewers do t...

Tedy Bruschi's Going To Want To Try This Out Now
You know, a lot of people express concern about our nation's youth. But I say, when you've got a 13-year-old boy, smiling so broadly in front of a football star that he just tricked into throwing up the shocker ... I think the future's in good hands....

Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...

What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night ...
What you missed during another senseless school squirrel attack ... • NBA: That clanking sound you hear is the Warriors going down 2-0 to the Jazz. • MLB: Dice, Dice Baby ... Manny, Matsuzaka lead Red Sox over Blue Jays, 9-3. • Tennis: The Chronicles of Roddick ... big fun at the Rome Masters....

Brewers Fans Are As Excited As A Tiny Puppy
For the first time in many a moon, it is kind of cool to be a Milwaukee Brewers fan. They have the best record in baseball, they're 6 1/2 games up in the National League Central (and they won again today) and they're even tossing in an occasional beanbrawl, just for good measure. And because they're...

John Kruk, Straying Off Message
Anyone who has watched "Baseball Tonight" in the last few years, when it has transformed from an entertainingly wonky baseball fan's fever dream into yet another chapter in ESPN's ongoing "People Screaming At Each Other" novel, suspects that the "panelists" often make ridiculous claims on air just t...

Vernon Wells Loves Interacting With His Fans
By now, you might have heard about Vernon Wells signing a baseball for a fan who was heckling him. It's really one of our favorite stories in a while, because it shows a sense of humor from Wells — it was his idea — and it includes a Major League Baseball starting off signing a baseball with the wor...

Floyd Mayweather, Preparing For Rain
After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely....

David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...

Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...

Not Bad, Oscar
Amazing. A heavily-promoted pay-per-view fight that left the fans standing and cheering at the end, without a great amount of controversy. Hm. They should try that again sometime....

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is An Ass Doc
While we're all still basking in the glow of that one horse's victory, we've NBA playoffs, including a Game 7, and then Game 1 between arguably the East's two best teams. In addition, there's a Nextel Cup race, NHL playoff action, and of course, De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Punching each other in the ...

We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...

Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...

Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...