we Page 757 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • NFL: Patriots give Raiders the ol' Three Stooges eye poke. • MLB: Pitcher Kyle Lohse takes a bat to Twins' locker room, providing yet another reason to dump the designated hitter. • MLB: Coco Crisp home run helps Indians move i...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
Leftovers: Bud Selig's European Vacation
• Ducks across the pond: MLB to play games in Europe in '07? [MSNBC] • Westbrook serves Eagles with divorce papers. Wonder where he learned that from. [For The Birds] • Say it ain't so: Red Auerbach sent to hospital. [CelticsBlog.com] • Pickup game: LeBron, Kobe, KG in for Katrina relief. [Minneapol...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...
NFL Sighs, Pretends It Doesn't Want To Strangle Kanye West
By now, you've heard all about rapper Kanye West's impromptu blasting of President Bush in the middle of a telethon. Whatever your thoughts on West's actions, it certainly puts the NFL in an interesting situation; West is scheduled to perform at the NFL Kickoff Ceremonies tonight. (Oh, the NFL sea...
Terrell Owens' Suspicious Charity
Now, far be it from us to accuse any athlete of being anything less than 100 percent magnanimous in all of his charitable endeavors ... but we couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Eagles flapjaw wide receiver Terrell Owens' newest attempt to confuse human beings into mistaking him for a nice fell...
Week In Deadspin: Anybody Watching Sports This Week?
• Matt Leinart is hitting the books hard this year. • The NFL Network hates stoners, but doesn't mind wife-beaters. • Hey, speaking of wife beaters! • Oliver Stone and Jose Canseco, together at last. • Stat nerds are apparently chopping their penises off. • The trophy wife as cheerleader. • As a pat...
The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...
Terrell Owens Update: Still Keeping It Real
We haven't checked in on Terrell Owens for a while; how's it goin', Terrell? Well, looks like he and Donovan McNabb still aren't talking, which isn't a big deal, since we can't imagine their level of discourse is all that high anyway. ("Donovan, I'm concerned about the lack of geopolitical debate ...
Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...
Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
T.O. Mania Continues To Ensue
This little kid, "Jeremy," claims to be Terrell Owens' biggest fan, but one who is saddened by his current exploits. Still, he's selling T-shirts (of course) that say "F.U.T.O. (For You, T.O.)" on his Web site. We love it when Philly fans get all clever and figure out how to use the computer....
More Native American Mascot Babble
As graduates of the University of Illinois at its endless debates about the merits/racism of its Chief Illiniwek, we will confess complete exhuastion when it comes to Native American mascots/symbols. We don't really care what they do, we just want them to do it and stop talking about it. Sorry. I...
Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...
Tom Brady Masturbates Just Like The Rest Of Us
Life's tough for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The number of women who jump in front of traffic for him his cumbersome, $50 bills don't burn nearly as well as $100 ones and, hey, those rings are heavy. And now he's sick of being known as a golden boy. In an interview in the upcoming GQ, Brady ...
In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....
The Week In Deadspin: Find The Roider!
The Week That Done Be ... · Stephen A. Smith is pretty much driving everyone mad · Michael Kay's erection embarasses everyone in Yankees booth. · Ryne Sandberg only person happy about Rafael Palmeiro's fall from grace. · Madden! · Old lady stalks Eric Byrnes. · You, too, can join The Mario Lopez Net...
Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...