whimsy Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Profane Dad Being Repeatedly Startled
A California teen had the fantastic idea to spend two weeks terrorizing her dad with a confetti gun. We hope he enjoys his fame while it lasts, because Ellen DeGeneres is definitely going to fire a giant confetti cannon at him and give him a heart attack live on her show....
Did Phil Jackson Leave This Flirty Note In A Cabin?
A reader who recently stayed at a rental cabin high in California’s Sierra Nevada discovered a note during his stay, lodged in a book called Cabin Porn: Inspiration for Your Quiet Place Somewhere. The message appears to be former Lakers head coach Phil Jackson suggesting, in his own way, that some u...
Swiss Olympic Skier Appears To Be An Escalator Wizard Or Some Shit
Swissman Fabian Bösch is a former world champion and X-Games gold medalist, but more importantly, he’s an escalator genius. If I did this, I would tear my rotator cuff, but I guess that’s why I’m not in the Olympics....
Kevin Garnett Met Some Contortionists And It Was Great TV
During last night’s NBA broadcast on TNT, Kevin Garnett’s Area 21 segment featured a performance by a squad of contortionists. Garnett, wearing his magical hood, was forced to stand there and provide commentary while the contortionists did their thing, and he did the best he could in what was probab...
![How Does Kevin Garnett's Hood Work? [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/t795fnc3tts8aemhv5mb.jpg)
How Does Kevin Garnett's Hood Work? [Update]
The Celtics got beat down by the new-look Cavaliers yesterday and also retired Paul Pierce’s jersey. His old Celtics running mate Kevin Garnett was in attendance, and—oh my God what is going on with this hood:...
The Most Inappropriate Pairs Figure Skating Songs
We’ve all fantasized about what songs to which we’d perform were we Olympic figure skaters. (Or maybe that’s just me?) Anyway, it’s more entertaining to consider what the least appropriate songs to choreograph a routine to might be, so here is what they are, in order:...
Burger Boy John Podhoretz Needs His Burger!
Being on Twitter for an extended period of time is guaranteed to make you a worse person. Most people, as they become bad, begin to exhibit the characteristics of few familiar archetypes: smarmy scold, aggressive moron, screaming sadist, wised-up industry knower, etc. It’s not good for you, but it i...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Saves Child From Wearing A Big Baller Hoodie
If you want an idea of how NBA players feel about the Ball family and their Big Baller Brand apparel, I reckon Giannis Antetokounmpo’s reaction to seeing one of his fans in a BBB shirt is a good indication....
City Of Philadelphia Deploys Advanced Pole-Greasing Tactics
The battle between Philadelphia and its rowdy, pole-climbing residents has entered a new stage. Before the NFC title game, the city went about trying to prevent celebrating Eagles fans from scaling light poles by slathering them in Crisco. It didn’t work, and last week the city seemed to accept defe...
Of Course Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Cameo In Stormy Daniels's Donald Trump Story
If there’s one thing you can be sure of in this world, it’s that all the most awful people in it tend to gravitate towards each other. So even though it’s weird, it’s not necessarily surprising that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets name-checked in Stormy Daniels’s story about humping Don...
The Fellas Are Talkin' Football
The big game is coming up this weekend. Vikings vs. Bad Guys. It’s all on the line. Who’s ready?...
These Japanese Kids Suck So Hard At Soccer That Not Even 100 Of Them Can Beat Three Pros
Last time the youth of Japan were given an opportunity to demonstrate their sporting acumen in the whimsical world of Japanese game shows, 55 children tried and failed to best a team of a mere two professional players in soccer. Recently, that same game show gave 100 more kids the chance to redeem t...
Here's That Video Of Jean-Claude Van Damme Kicking Cody Garbrandt In The Face
Just before Christmas, former UFC bantamweight champion Cody Garbrandt relayed the wonderful story of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s visit to Team Alpha Male’s Sacramento HQ for a bit of training. After sweating on everyone and weirding the team out with some strange stretches, the action star got in the t...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Is A Harsh Mistress
Nick Spicher was embroiled in the Jeopardy! equivalent of an NFL replay review when he gave an incorrect response to the following before/after clue in Monday’s episode: “A song by Coolio from ‘Dangerous Minds’ goes back in time to become a 1667 John Milton classic.”...
The SEC Network Yule Log Is Our Nation's Greatest Contribution To Avant-Garde Cinema
My family only has a few Christmas traditions, among them cinnamon rolls, trips to the dog park, bike rides, and yard work. But the most important tradition—one that gets us up early on Christmas morning—is the SEC Network Yule Log, which is just like other yule log broadcasts except that the orches...
"They're Not Gonna Keep 'Em Off The Field Tonight!"
Just go with it: ...
Herm Edwards Flabbergasted By Small Football Jersey
Herm Edwards hasn’t been a professional football coach since 2008, and he hasn’t worked for a college team since the 1980s. Fashions and customs have certainly changed since then, apparently to Edwards’s surprise....
Greg Hardy Wins Farcical MMA Bout
Former NFL player Greg Hardy is trying his hand at MMA, and won his debut fight in 32 seconds on Nov. 4. On Friday, he won his second fight in 96 seconds, and the video footage indicates that it was the dumbest fight in history:...