whimsy Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Course Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Cameo In Stormy Daniels's Donald Trump Story
If there’s one thing you can be sure of in this world, it’s that all the most awful people in it tend to gravitate towards each other. So even though it’s weird, it’s not necessarily surprising that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets name-checked in Stormy Daniels’s story about humping Don...
The Fellas Are Talkin' Football
The big game is coming up this weekend. Vikings vs. Bad Guys. It’s all on the line. Who’s ready?...
These Japanese Kids Suck So Hard At Soccer That Not Even 100 Of Them Can Beat Three Pros
Last time the youth of Japan were given an opportunity to demonstrate their sporting acumen in the whimsical world of Japanese game shows, 55 children tried and failed to best a team of a mere two professional players in soccer. Recently, that same game show gave 100 more kids the chance to redeem t...
Here's That Video Of Jean-Claude Van Damme Kicking Cody Garbrandt In The Face
Just before Christmas, former UFC bantamweight champion Cody Garbrandt relayed the wonderful story of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s visit to Team Alpha Male’s Sacramento HQ for a bit of training. After sweating on everyone and weirding the team out with some strange stretches, the action star got in the t...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Is A Harsh Mistress
Nick Spicher was embroiled in the Jeopardy! equivalent of an NFL replay review when he gave an incorrect response to the following before/after clue in Monday’s episode: “A song by Coolio from ‘Dangerous Minds’ goes back in time to become a 1667 John Milton classic.”...
The SEC Network Yule Log Is Our Nation's Greatest Contribution To Avant-Garde Cinema
My family only has a few Christmas traditions, among them cinnamon rolls, trips to the dog park, bike rides, and yard work. But the most important tradition—one that gets us up early on Christmas morning—is the SEC Network Yule Log, which is just like other yule log broadcasts except that the orches...
"They're Not Gonna Keep 'Em Off The Field Tonight!"
Just go with it: ...
Herm Edwards Flabbergasted By Small Football Jersey
Herm Edwards hasn’t been a professional football coach since 2008, and he hasn’t worked for a college team since the 1980s. Fashions and customs have certainly changed since then, apparently to Edwards’s surprise....
Joe Flacco Ate The W
Joe Flacco, last week’s Bad Quarterback of the Week, was actually quite good in yesterday’s 44-20 stomping of the Detroit Lions. Flacco threw for 269 yards and two touchdowns, and was feeling so good after the game that he opened his press conference by clowning Jameis Winston....
Give It Up, Blake Bortles
You’re never going to win one of these:...
Bill Walton Would Fuck You Up
Care to face off against the weather-beaten tree that is Bill Walton in a fight? As evidenced by this training footage, courtesy of Walton’s broadcast partner Dave Pasch, absolutely not. Bill’s a goddamn force. He can take on two opponents at once:...
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Boy, things sure are looking up for Jerry Jones! Here he is enjoying a Thanksgiving feast of a 28-6 loss and 434 passing yards allowed. Look upon his soul, or what is left of it:...
Joel Embiid Has Perfected Shit-Talking
Joel Embiid didn’t have the kind of monster game we’ve grown accustomed to seeing during last night’s win over the Jazz—his 15 points and 11 rebounds were perfectly solid—but he did provide the highlight of the game....
Australian MP's Brain Goes On Short, Strange Journey
Australia has been recently gripped by a heated debate over whether same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. Last week, the majority of Australians voted to legalize same-sex marriage, which apparently caused MP Bob Katter, who had previously opposed the legalization of gay marriage, to soften h...
When You Jerk It Out
The things that sneak through at the end of 56-3 football games:...
Jared Goff's Audibles Include "Ric Flair" And "Tupac"
Rams QB Jared Goff was mic’d up during the team’s 33-7 win over the Houston Texans on Sunday, which allowed everyone to learn some of L.A.’s audibles. Head coach Sean McVay and his coaches seem to have chosen a celebrity-heavy assortment. Here they are, courtesy of USA Today’s Cameron DaSilva:...
Bruce Arians Provides Reason To Be Optimistic About Blaine Gabbert
Because Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton are both injured, the Arizona Cardinals will be forced to start Blaine Gabbert at quarterback this week. Gabbert’s been in the league since 2011 and has 38 career touchdowns to go along with 37 career interceptions; you last saw him helping the 2016 49ers put t...
A.J. Brown Brings The Eurostep To Football
The only acceptable response to this: “Damn.”...