whimsy Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maybe The Dodgers' Woes Can Be Linked To The Fact They're Practicing Without A Baseball
The Los Angeles Dodgers have a little bit of a problem scoring runs. They're 26th among all MLB teams, and it's became notable news when they can accomplish something as trite as scoring twice in a single inning. ("A really strange thing," as the Los Angeles Times called it.) So it seems weird tha...
This R2D2 Keg Is The Droid You've Been Looking For Your Entire Life
Meet R2DKEG, the most popular drug-dispensing robot at the LSU tailgate (because C-3PBLOW will not fucking shut up)....
Undercover Cops Fucking Love Wearing Old NFL Jerseys
We've received two dispatches from reader Al G. concerning the undercover police presence at Electric Zoo. Electric Zoo, by the way is a festival for music made by computers or something....
Josh Hamilton's Snot Rockets Are Uniquely Personal
When nature calls for the removal of foreign objects from the nostrils, most of us modestly seek some kind of privacy for the act. Not Josh Hamilton. The Rangers slugger, indeed, wants to share his snot rockets with everyone. It's almost romantic. [FSSW]...
Howie Kendrick's Mustache Last Night Was, Erm, Unique
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache....
Here's Henrik Lundqvist And His Doberman Sitting Down To A Meal
Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist got suited up today to promote the team's upcoming Rangers Dog Walk. His dinner companion is Nova, a five-year-old Doberman that, according to this New York Times story from last year, pretty much gets her way around the house. There isn't anything about this photo th...
"They Represented Canada Well": Sad Things Said Yesterday By Managers Of Eliminated Little League Teams
The Little League World Series is going on, you realized over the weekend, as you scrolled through your digital cable guide. That means ESPN is lying about fastball velocities and kids' dreams are getting crushed. They will never become Chris Drury or Todd fucking Frazier. They'll just sit around, t...
This Is The Giant Tree Limb That Hospitalized A Woman In Oregon By Suddenly Falling On Her
Poor Melany Crocker. According to The Oregonian, the 21-year-old rising senior at Linfield (Ore.) College was running at a local park Wednesday evening when the Sweetgum tree branch you see above came crashing down on her. Crocker is a sprinter on the Linfield track team. She was pinned to the groun...
"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
Netflix Appears To Have Been Acquired By ESPN, FOX Or MLB
Reader Aaron passed along this Netflix suggestion for those looking to sate their military documentary cravings. You've got your Revolutionary war fix, World War II and....what the? Yanks-Sox?...
Usain Bolt Has A History Of Stealing This Swedish Photographer's Camera
After Usain Bolt became the first person to ever win back-to-back Olympic gold medals in both the 100 and 200 meters, grabbed the camera of a nearby photographer and started taking his own pictures of the scene. What you might not be aware of is that Bolt and the photographer, a Swede named Jimmy Wi...
How Do Michael Phelps's Current Times Compare To Ones He Swam When He Was Nine Years Old?
Michael Phelps has already become history's most decorated Olympian, and swimming scholars will inevitably analyze his times and technique for years to come. But exactly how far has Phelps come from his humble roots? We got our hands on some meet results from 1995, when he was nine years old. How m...
The Controversial Olympic Fencing Semifinal, Recreated Using Legos
Yesterday, we showed you the bizarre aftermath of the women's individual épée semifinal, which was won by Germany's Britta Heidemann after a timing error put another second on the clock and allowed Heidemann to score a decisive touch on South Korea's Shin A Lam. Shin then proceeded to remain on the ...
Here Is Some Weird-Ass Shit Broadcast During Last Night's Rays-A's Game
Last night's Rays-A's game from Oakland went 15 innings before finally being decided on a Jemile Weeks sacrifice fly, and its length taxed certain east coast viewers who needed to be up early for Olympics coverage. But for those who stuck around, there was a treat: whatever the fuck this is. We deb...
Nobody Goes To The Morgue Anymore, It's Too Crowded
The trade deadline (non-waiver) for major league baseball is this Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. ET. Predictably, things are picking up. Francisco Liriano was traded last night to the White Sox. Zack Greinke was traded to the Angels on Friday. Rumors also abound this time of year, with various columnists spec...
Important Note: This Was The <em>Worst</em> Olympic Cauldron-Lighting Ceremony Ever
Last night, our colleague Erik Malinowski posted a video of the torch-lighting at the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona. He called it the "greatest Olympic cauldron lighting ceremony ever."...
Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...
Female MMA Fighter Knocks Out Opponent On First Punch
This is a fairly standard beat down at some event you've never heard of. Girl tries to be sporting, girl's efforts are rebuffed, girl viciously knocks opponent out shortly thereafter....
Pro Golfer Misses Cut, Vows To Have Sex With Wife
Kris Blanks is the 201st ranked player in the world and 121st in the FedEx Cup. On Thursday and Friday, Blanks participated in the John Deere Classic in Silvis, Illinois. He will not be playing today or tomorrow because he missed the cut by one measly stroke....
Read The Full Saga Of The Piggyback Bandit
Back in 2009, we wrote about the strange antics of Sherwin Shayegan, otherwise known as the Piggyback Bandit. Intrigued by Sherwin's story, the fine folks at Grantland sent Bryan Curtis on the bandit's trail in the hopes that some sense could be made of the man's obsession with piggyback rides....