whimsy Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carl Lewis In Spandex, And Other Hilarious Athlete Forays Into Music Careers
Fresh off the startling news that Manny Pacquiao canceled his Hawaii concert, it's high time to examine the other aural atrocities committed by top athletes. [The Top 13]...
The Best Thing You'll Read About Tiger's Sexting
What could Joslyn James have written to elicit Tiger's, "Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own"? Perhaps: "My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer." [Slate]...
Gus Johnson Calls Your Life
Introducing the Gus Johnson soundboard. I give it less than a day before America is having sex to "rise and fire." [Best Thing Ever]...
Searching For...The Random Asian Kid Of KU
We haven't had to call upon the Deadspin I-team for personal search and rescue missions in a while, but today's entry seems as worthy as any deadbeat Dominican baseball player or ample-bosomed fan. We'll let Pete Gaines have the floor:...
The 10 Most Magnificent Footballers/Pop Stars EVER!
It's sometimes easy to forget that footballers are also human beings. Frighteningly gifted human beings, who can turn their hand to pretty much anything. Some ooze seamlessly into management or punditry, others open shops or decide to do office jobs....
Lane Kiffin: Pretty Pretty Princess
Esquire's 64-person "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket has one hell of a sleeper 16 seed: Lane Kiffin. (To be fair, he does look great in culottes.) Voting decides the winner, so I think you know what you have to do. [Esquire]...
Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...
Stupid English People Will No Longer Get To Chase Rolling Cheese Down A Hill
After an illustrious 183-year run, the annual Whitsun cheese-rolling event on Cooper's Hill in Gloucester has been canceled, partly for safety reasons. Add "chasing cheese wheels down a steep hill" to the list of things that England has deemed unsafe....
Erin Andrews and Dick Vitale Cut A Rug
EA is going to be doing it with the stars, and Dickie V is getting psyched for the Big one. So why not share a dance before yesterday's Duke/Miami game?...
Minnesota HS Hockey Player Wipes Out On TV, Guarantees Himself Brief Viral Infamy
Here's poor Zach Van Orsdel, an Alexandria defenseman playing in the Minnesota state championship, introducing himself to the television audience by doing the sort of thing that makes us all glad we're no longer in high school. [Puck Daddy]...
Name Of The Year Tournament, The True March Madness, Is Back
Who will inherit the throne of Barkevious Mingo (pictured)? Luminaries such as Lolita Respectnothing, Mister Cobble, and God's Power Offor vie for the title of Name Of The Year. [NOTY]...
Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...
Cranky Old Sportscaster Unloads On Congress, Curling
Beano Cook is an American treasure, and nearly 66% of you agreed with that assessment about two years ago. From his rapier wit to his extensive knowledge of the game, Cook deserves our respect. But, let's have some fun instead....
Taiwanese CGI Geniuses Present: Ole Miss-Admiral Ackbar
The Nancy Grace Rule's reign of terror is over. The new cool way to measure a story's scope is Taiwanese CGI. Their reenactments of Tiger-Gate and the Late Night Wars were amazing but Admiral Ackbar-Ole Miss may be their masterpiece....
Time For March Madness Vasectomies Already? A Deadspin Pledge
Like the Filet-O-Fish song, it's a peripheral American tradition: doctors pushing vasectomies during the NCAA tournament. And then, of course, the media breathlessly writing about it....
Springtime For Customized Jerseys
Because it's Friday and this has been one of the lamest weeks in recent memory, why not resurrect everyone's favorite clothing-based photo gallery feature, a.k.a., people who wasted a lot of money on ideas they didn't fully think through....
IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A CHEEZ DOODLE
Just this once, the library is relaxing the rules against talking. And yelling. (By the way, if you were a kid, wouldn't this be the absolute worst field trip ever?) [Twitter]...
Tim Lincecum Isn't Always High, He Just Seems That Way
Here's Lincecum modeling a Giants Snuggie, and pretending to be a wizard. Wonder if this violates his probation for that possession bust....
Meet Your 14-Year-Old Nephew's New Favorite Hockey Player
In the tradition of legendary athletic heroes like Johnny Dickshot, Jung Bong, and Pete LaCock, comes NHL rookie and object of affection for snickering school boys everywhere—Columbus Blue Jacket Grant Clitsome....
Grizzlies Fan Enters The Pantheon Of Painful Trampoline Dunk Failures (UPDATE)
Last night, one lucky Memphis fan got the chance to dunk off of a trampoline. He managed the dunk itself, but what followed was yet another reminder of the perils of using springy devices to propel ourselves skyward. [NBA.com]...