whimsy Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Mike And Mike Book "Enthralling," "Humanizes A Downtrodden, Long-Suffering People," Per Amazon
Either someone at Amazon is having a bit of sport with Fat Man and Little Boy's forthcoming Rules for Sports and Life, or the pair has written the definitive treatise on life in North Korea. [Amazon, see "Editorial Reviews"]...
Even Monkeys Go To Rehab
Yes, unless this report comes from an Onion-style Russian newspaper, it appears a monkey hooked on alcohol and cigarettes has been sent to rehab. The world is a vampire. [Montreal Gazette]...
Deadspin I-Team: Is This John Clayton's Ponytail?
Reader Brad alerts us to this video, in which one can discern what appears to be the fabled and disputed ponytail of John Clayton, bobbing up and down. Look at the evidence. I-Team's verdict: ponytail. We await comment from ESPN....
Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...
Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...
Hipsters Slipping On Ice; What More Could You Want?
We've had icy sidewalks here in New York lately. Hazardous, but entertaining. Here's an excellent montage of a streetcorner in the heart of hipsterdom, Williamsburg, featuring three solid minutes of neckbeards and lumberjack hats eating pavement....
At Long Last - The Ballad of Brett Favre
Big, big hat tip to Business_Socks for passing along this Brett Favre tribute track. It's called "The Ballad of Brett Favre, I Will If You Let Me", and you are going to want to listen to the whole thing....
Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman, And A Baby: Explained!
Finally, a backstory for the most random photograph we've ever received. It involves making sure Mateen Izzy Cleaves Jr. grows up with unrealistic expectations. [Lost Lettermen]...
Circuit Court, Where A Kid Can Be A Kid
A patron is suing Chuck. E. Cheese's for $50,000 for injuries suffered after being hit in the head with an air hockey puck. That thing weighs like 2 ounces; who is the plaintiff, Eric Lindros? [Chicago Bar-Tender]...
Fun With Sporcle: Athletes That Time Forgot
Sporcle is a godsend - addictive user-created quizzes that will kill a good hour of your productivity each day. But the best part is seeing other people's answers. Let's look through some sports quizzes and see who history has rejected....
Oprah Winfrey Mistakes Drew Brees' Birthmark For Lipstick
"Who just kissed you?" she asked. "God," he should have said, before punching her. [Sporting Blog]...
Pat Neshek Gets Horrible Fan Mail
Really, the shocking thing about this letter is not that it was sent — autograph hounds represent the lowest phylum of baseball fan — but that this Twins enthusiast didn't ask for Kent Hrbek, Tony Oliva, and Walter Johnson, too....
Wade Phillips Cuts A Rug In Miami
Super Bowl parties aren't all hookers and cocaine; sometimes they're about middle-aged white coaches awkwardly doing group dances. The YMCA has never been so simultaneously wholesome and icky. (Video is rated debatably SFW, for graphic scenes of Wade Phillips dancing.)...
The 2010 Cubs Look Promising And Open To Sexual Experimentation
The Maple Street Press is certainly setting expectations for the Cubs extremely high this year. [ChicagoNow]...
College Jeopardy Contestant Honestly Confuses Coach K With "Jackass"
Actually, the Krzyzewski-related Johnny Knoxville movie they were searching for in that response was "The Dukes of Hazzard." But I think the judges will allow it. [WRAL]...
When You Don't Need To Read Past The Headline
"Gay, Mentally Challenged Biracial Male Cheerleader Claims Discrimination." I gotta be honest, I don't feel completely right throwing this piece of meat to you commenter dogs. Be kind. [Seattle Weekly]...
How To Insure You're Alone Next Valentine's Day
The high bid is only $300 (with an estimated value of $850!) with two days remaining, but let's be honest. Anyone who would bid on the "Sausages Serenade Your Sweetheart" package probably doesn't have a sweetheart to serenade. [MLB.com Auctions]...
Trevor Winter: The Moonlight Graham Of Terrible NBA Players
Winter reminisces with Asylum about his five minutes in the NBA. "You have five fouls to give," Flip Saunders said before a game against Shaq, "and for every foul you don't use, we'll fine you $1,000." Mission accomplished. [Asylum]...
People Fainting On Live Television Will Never Cease To Amuse
Batista is a Brazilian soccer commentator who got a little woozy during a recent broadcast. Note the expression shortly before his eyes roll upward. It's the look of someone who knows he's about to be all over YouTube. [Unprofessional Foul]...
Bill Wennington, Luc Longley, And Will Perdue Were Once Called "Bang Gang," T-Shirt Alleges
Could we talk about this t-shirt for a moment? Because it is so very wrong....