whimsy Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Usain Bolt Shows Off His Most Treasured Keepsake From Beijing
The world's fastest man arrived in Canada wearing a T-shirt with ancient Chinese letters spelling out a thoroughly modern message. I don't think they draped that around his neck on the Olympic podium. [Fotoglif via Splash News]...
UCLA QB Announces Transfer Via Bizarre Press Release
Fact: A redshirt sophomore named Chris Forcier is leaving UCLA to play ball at Furman. Fact: His family decided to announce the move with one of the more batshit loony press releases you'll ever read....
Free Fenway Tickets To The Person Who Loves America The Most
Do you want presumably good seats to a Red Sox game at Fenway? All you have to do is convince the son of a failed presidential candidate that you hate socialism—and maybe make a small donation!...
No Wonder These Nicknames Weren't Used
The Toronto Tarantulas, Vancouver Mounties, Baltimore Marauders, New York Borros, Washington Sea Dogs, San Antonio Gunslingers, Florida Flamingoes, Orlando Juice, Charlotte Spirit, Minnesota Blue Ox — it's a shame these throwbacks don't exist. [WSJ]...
Fencing: "The Reason Guns Were Invented"
"Did you ever watch the Olympics and wonder what it would be like to put on that dashing, all-white fencer's uniform... and actually know what to do when the referee says, 'En garde'? No, neither did I." [Slate]...
All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....
Didn't Jackie Robinson Play Baseball?
"Topps announced on Wednesday that it would add sports pioneer Jackie Robinson to its forthcoming Magic football set... with stylings remniscent of its 1951 set of the same name." Who knew Magic wasn't that creepy witchcraft game? [Beckett Blog]...
New Sport Alert: Lithuanian Baby Racing
Combines all the melodrama and excitement of turtle racing, frog racing, or cricket racing but add Lithuanian babies. And their wacky, stuffed-animal waving parent-coaches. It's still not as electrifying as Spanish baby jumping, though. [Major League Jerk]...
A Portrait Of The Columnist As A Young Virgin
Long before John Rocker offered him his thoughts on New York City transit, SI.com columnist Jeff Pearlman was a rosy-cheeked collegian who was more than happy to share his sexual habits with the world....
Our Band Can Beat Up Your Jocks
Some science egghead says that marching band is just as difficult as football: "You get a level of competition and athleticism that is equal to a Division I athletic program." Someone should give that guy a wedgie. [Reuters]...
Of Softball Coaches And Sheep Feces
Up in Maine, girls can like girls, girls can like boys and girls can like sheep, but, apparently, girls cannot haze their high school softball teams by making their players walk barefoot through sheep feces....
College Coaches Get Cozy In Iraq
Seven coaches — including Mack Brown, Jim Tressel and Rick Neuheisel — are touring the Middle East, and have learned that in Iraq, a glitzy suite is hard to find. Instead of lounging at the Ritz, they're shacking up in one of Saddam's palaces. In bunk beds. [The Zone Blitz]...
Beware Jogging And Tweeting At The Same Time
Perhaps China is right to ban Twitter, not because of censorship, but because the 140-character-microblogathingy-service is dangerous. Just ask James Coleman, a well-to-do 23-year-old, the latest victim in Twitter's quest to establish its world peril. And look how innocent: A penchant for exercise w...
One Man's Fight For A Home Run Ball...In Pictures
We'll call Meech the "Unhappy Youngster" from now on. The photos are pretty incredible, though. [The Fightins]...
In Which A Frenchman Learns Cape Cod Is Far From France
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then just quit. For the second time, Charlie Girard failed to row the 3,000 miles from Cape Cod to France, rowing about 150 miles, 100 more than last time. Surprisingly, he got "really tired, really fatigued." He won't try again. [WBZ]...
Take These Bobbleheads Home, Country Road
Tonight was going to be, like, the most important night in the history of the West Virginia Power. It marked their first-ever bobblehead giveaway, and they decided to honor the occasion with an Obama-playing-basketball-in-high-school toy. Too bad the dolls got stuck in some reincarnation of Gitmo....
The Faces (And Belly) Of Disappointment For Man U
We've all been there—just be glad a professional photographer wasn't around to capture your lowest moment as a sports fan. (Caption: Disappointment was clear on the faces of Manchester United fans during the final minutes of the team's game against Barcelona Wednesday.) [Photo: Alessia Pierdomenico/...