whimsy Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Scottie Pippen Would <u>Not</u> Like To Thank All The Little People
Pippen was attacked by little people. Pippen sent one of the little people to the hospital. This is a thing that happened....

Rick Reilly®, Glimpsed In The Wild
Mildly terrifying Deadspin I-Team operative Alex captured the ESPN LOLumnist as he foraged in the lower bowl of Denver's Pepsi Center. Note the distinctive outerwear. "Would have been better if it was a vindaloo and a southern cross," Alex writes....

This Is Also Outstanding
DJ Steve Porter, creative genius behind "Press Hop," is back with "You Play To Win The Game," featuring the greatest hits of Herm Edwards, Denny Green and others, plus an autotuned Bill Parcells....

Landon Donovan Wants You To Win The Mexican Lottery
I'm pretty sure this commercial is racist, but I'm not certain who should actually be offended. Landon Donovan's Spanish teacher would be a good place to start. [SportsRubbish]...

Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....

There Must Be Some Mistake Here
"White Kid Wins Dunk Contest"? Don't ask me. I'm as confused as you are. [Rivals - Thanks, Tom L.]...

The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....

Truth-Squadding Kobe Bryant's "Broken" Finger
Via Bethlehem Shoals comes this stark piece of cinema, in which a brave truth-teller goes all Loose Change on Kobe Bryant's finger and informs us, among other things, that Bryant's "stupid avulsion fracture isn't even a real 'break.'" Video below....

Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column Update
We got some good submissions for the Least Necessary Sports Column "contest," so while you're waiting around for various balls to drop here's some light reading that will make you say, "Why did this happen?"...

And Here's One Rejected Deadspin Commenter Who Decided To Take His Frustration Out On A Message Board
This is a pretty surreal temper tantrum by one young man named "awwhites" who was not pleased about the silly little audition process you poor people have to go through to type here....

2009 Commenter Of The Year
Here's some good news, the Commenter of the Year Award (COTY or Commenties) is back! But before we get to the big award, it's only fair we get to do some fun year-end list stuff....

For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...

Help Us Find The Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column
The week between Christmas and New Year's Day is tough for sports writers. (Just look at this site you're reading.) It's the time of the year when a desperate columnist will reach for just about anything to meet a deadline....

Bengals Cheerleader Files Suit Against The Dirty.com Over Horrid STD Rumor
The woman, identified as "Sarah J" in The Dirty's post and "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, claims the website libeled her when they published an email suggesting her ex-boyfriend was a disease-riddled scuzzbot who probably infected her with something scabby....

Even Australian Ladies Love To Taunt The Crocodiles
Yesterday, we were introduced to this weird Aussie croc-trap game and it appears it's become the newest fad all the cool kids are doing, like Tokyo drifting and that huffing. [The Daily Telegraph]...

I See You've Played Crocy-Spoony Before
The latest fad Down Under: swimming into baited crocodile traps. It's still safer than Aussie rules football. [Northern Territory News]...

Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...