whimsy Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When The Housing Market Throws You A Knuckleball...
Turn to Doug Mirabelli. Specialties: Residential, Commercial, Vacant Land, Multi-Family, Wakefield. [CBGreatLakes]...

Darren Rovell Really, Really Wants To Meet This Volleyball Player
Her name is Nora Tobin and the sports business guru desperately wants an interview with her. I'm sure he just wants to discuss options trading or something. [CNBC, via AdRants]...

Gary “Baba Booey” Dell'abate Becomes Latest Celebrity To Emasculate Himself With First-Pitch Disaster
This is truly awful. It's actually worse than his wince-worthy ex-girlfriend apology videos. But at least we now know who taught him how to throw a baseball. [YouTube]...

The Deadspin I-Team Failed Its Badonkular Panamanian Cricket Mission
Luckily, there were others on the case. Cancel your flights to Panama. [TheRapUp]...

Deadspin I-Team: Is The Panamanian Cricket Team Artificially Enhanced?
On the backchannels, Daulerio has charged us with launching a Deadspin I-Team investigation into the veracity of some suspiciously bottom-heavy photographs of the "Panamanian Cricket Team."...

Norm Macdonald's Bob Uecker Story
Obviously I find anything this man does ridiculously entertaining. This is no exception. [Videogum]...

Ballpark Hot Dogs Served On A Bed Of Boobs
You haven't enjoyed a SkyDome (now and forever) hot dog until you've done so out of the bountiful cleavage of a female Blue Jays fan in the third deck. [Total Pro Sports]...

The Secrets Behind Silly Sports Blog Names Are Revealed
Ever wonder who put the "Kissing" in "Kissing Suzy Kolber?" Or the "Ball" in "Ball Don't Lie?" Or The "Spin" in "Deadspin?" Cease your consternation! [You Been Blinded]...

Royals Broadcaster Somehow Duped On-Air By Food Network Impersonator
Guy Fieri, the Food Network personality always in search of America's best chili dog waffle burgers was in the stands at the Royals game last night. Wait — no he wasn't. [Kansas City.com]...

The $69 "Price Is Right" For Gynecologist Steelers Fan
Ladies of Pittsburgh—if you're looking for a new doctor to take care of your unmentionable parts, may I suggest not choosing the crazy Steelers fan who made a $69 bid on "The Price Is Right."...

The Best Gif You Will See Today
Via SKEETS comes this animated gif of Mike Tyson taking on his greatest foe. It is nothing short of sublime. [YTMND]...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

ESPN Loves This Sort Of Free Publicity
Florida educator Thomas McCoy was suspended from his job because " he was cruising ESPN.com" while two special needs students "went behind a bookshelf and one performed a sex act on the other." [Naples News]...

Dan Quinn, MMA Fighter/Professional Lunatic, Returns With Another Hilariously Terrifying YouTube Message
Slap on the headphones if you’re at work and brace yourself for more nonsensical trash-talk wizardry. Not Safe For Workish. [VideoGum]...

Depressing Autographed Seat Cushion Is The Only Thing That Remains Of Stephen A.'s Career
I saw this this ungodly little tchotchke at Standings Bar in the East Village, one of the best places to watch sporting events in NYC. I tried to buy it for $40. The owner refused....

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

Softball Season Brings Out The Best And Worst In Everyone
A good portion of New Yorkers join softball leagues for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

White Guys...Activate!
Bernhard Langer's putt-making ability is much better than his awkward attempt at a chest-bump immediately after he made it. Tom Lehman is equally culpable, but at least his intentions were good. [PGA Tour.com]...

Fine: There Is No Greater Bond Between Father And Son Hockey Fans Than Celebratory Fellatio
That headline is going to be a Google goldmine. [YouTube]...

It's Nap Time When Timmy McGee SAYS It's Nap Time
When site banners and headlines collide, the results can be somewhat amusing. Meet the deceptively muscled tykes of the Trigg County powerlifting team. I'm guessing that's Timmy McGee in the yellow shirt. [TCPS]...