whimsy Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Sport Alert: Lithuanian Baby Racing
Combines all the melodrama and excitement of turtle racing, frog racing, or cricket racing but add Lithuanian babies. And their wacky, stuffed-animal waving parent-coaches. It's still not as electrifying as Spanish baby jumping, though. [Major League Jerk]...
A Portrait Of The Columnist As A Young Virgin
Long before John Rocker offered him his thoughts on New York City transit, SI.com columnist Jeff Pearlman was a rosy-cheeked collegian who was more than happy to share his sexual habits with the world....
Our Band Can Beat Up Your Jocks
Some science egghead says that marching band is just as difficult as football: "You get a level of competition and athleticism that is equal to a Division I athletic program." Someone should give that guy a wedgie. [Reuters]...
Of Softball Coaches And Sheep Feces
Up in Maine, girls can like girls, girls can like boys and girls can like sheep, but, apparently, girls cannot haze their high school softball teams by making their players walk barefoot through sheep feces....
College Coaches Get Cozy In Iraq
Seven coaches — including Mack Brown, Jim Tressel and Rick Neuheisel — are touring the Middle East, and have learned that in Iraq, a glitzy suite is hard to find. Instead of lounging at the Ritz, they're shacking up in one of Saddam's palaces. In bunk beds. [The Zone Blitz]...
Beware Jogging And Tweeting At The Same Time
Perhaps China is right to ban Twitter, not because of censorship, but because the 140-character-microblogathingy-service is dangerous. Just ask James Coleman, a well-to-do 23-year-old, the latest victim in Twitter's quest to establish its world peril. And look how innocent: A penchant for exercise w...
One Man's Fight For A Home Run Ball...In Pictures
We'll call Meech the "Unhappy Youngster" from now on. The photos are pretty incredible, though. [The Fightins]...
In Which A Frenchman Learns Cape Cod Is Far From France
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then just quit. For the second time, Charlie Girard failed to row the 3,000 miles from Cape Cod to France, rowing about 150 miles, 100 more than last time. Surprisingly, he got "really tired, really fatigued." He won't try again. [WBZ]...
Take These Bobbleheads Home, Country Road
Tonight was going to be, like, the most important night in the history of the West Virginia Power. It marked their first-ever bobblehead giveaway, and they decided to honor the occasion with an Obama-playing-basketball-in-high-school toy. Too bad the dolls got stuck in some reincarnation of Gitmo....
The Faces (And Belly) Of Disappointment For Man U
We've all been there—just be glad a professional photographer wasn't around to capture your lowest moment as a sports fan. (Caption: Disappointment was clear on the faces of Manchester United fans during the final minutes of the team's game against Barcelona Wednesday.) [Photo: Alessia Pierdomenico/...
"No Sign Of Any Spirits" In This Milwaukee Hotel
"A player for the Dodgers has been known to sleep with a baseball bat for protection after hearing odd noises. And two pairs of Florida Marlins players reportedly demand to share a room... because they're afraid of ghosts." Sure, blame your losses to the Brewers on a haunted hotel. [WISN]...
College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...
When Will America End The Deadly Scourge Of School Bus Racing?
Forget about NASCAR's restrictor plate insanity—what racing authorities really need to concentrate on is how to keep the time-honored sport of figure-eight school bus races from turning into a degrading carnival side-show. Remember when it used to be about the bus driving?...
This Guy Has Nothing On Clay Zavada
The world's most moustachioed flocked to Anchorage this weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championship. Unfortunately, the winners forever will have asterisks next to their busts in Alaska, as Clay Zavada was in Oakland, whisker-twinged NHL players are busy and Sarah Palin couldn't make it. ...
Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...
Judge: No, You Can't Replace Volleyball With Cheerleaders
A federal judge has decreed that Quinnipiac can't just ax its women's volleyball team to trim the budget — especially when, you know, it wouldn't actually save money if the team is replaced by a new varsity cheerleading squad. Something about Title IX. Proceed with your day. [News-Times]...
Brett Favre Victimized By Improv Comedy Group
New York Giants lineman David Diehl makes his comedy club debut by mocking Brett Favre—and doing a pretty good job of it, actually. It was such a spot on impersonation that he even told his jokes to the wrong audience. Video below....
Obama's Two Favorite Things Are The Steelers, Making Children Cry
A group of kindergarteners had their hearts broken yesterday when they showed up for a White House tour and were told they couldn't come in because staff had to prepare for the President's visit with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, because the tears of the innocent give Barack Obama sustenance....
Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...