women Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

U.S. Gymnastics Turns Its Back On Chellsie Memmel, Genuine Badass
At the 2006 world championships, Chellsie Memmel botched a release during her uneven-bars routine and tore her labrum. This was more or less the beginning of a prolonged shoulder nightmare that would culminate this weekend in the cold-eyed rejection of her bid to compete in the national championship...

Once Again Northwestern Wins Nth Women's Lacrosse Title in N+1 Years
The women's lacrosse team from Northwestern University out-lacrossed the women's lacrosse team from Syracuse University on Sunday to win the program's seventh national title in eight years, a laudable feat of consistent ass-kicking that becomes all the more impressive when you consider the key word ...

Lacrosse Names Just Keep Getting Sillier And Sillier
Currently, the NCAA has these rosters (click to enlarge) set to play when Notre Dame and Loyola Maryland square off this afternoon at 2:30 p.m. Can you spot the mistake? Ok, fine we'll tell you because lax names are ambiguous to begin with....

Kim Clijsters Is Retiring (Again)
Tennis's good girl Kim Clijsters says she's retiring after this year's U.S. Open. This will be the second time that Clijsters will retire, and even though retiring and unretiring is sort of a fad in the women's game, this will probably be it for her....

Women's Professional Soccer Is Officially Dead
The WPS announced today that the league has officially folded, and there will be no effort to rebuild after an already-cancelled 2012 season. I can give you two reasons for this rough news, and one is Dan Borislow, possibly the worst man in sports....

BYU Runner's Epic Steeplechase Fail Is Even Funnier In A Frame-By-Frame Photo Gallery
BYU senior Katy Andrews did us all a favor when she humbly uploaded that hilarious video of her grand crash into the water jump during a weekend steeplechase event. And now that the Salt Lake Tribune has broken the entire episode down in HD, image by image, it's obvious that, just after it happened,...

Bristolmetrics: Brittney Griner Got More Mentions On <em>SportsCenter</em> Than Any Kentucky Wildcat
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Baylor Hoops Teams Were Really Big On The Illegal Text Messages
Stop me if you've heard this before, but a school that quickly rose to athletic prominence is now facing punishment for a myriad of recruiting violations. This time it's the Bears of Baylor, who were found by an NCAA probe to have racked up nearly 2,000 impermissible phone calls and text messages to...

Robert Griffin III Celebrates His Last Winning Moment In A Long Time
We're not really sure why RGIII got to climb the ladder to cut the nets after Baylor's women's basketball team beat Notre Dame in last night's NCAA title game. Must have been the important role he played in the Lady Bears' victory....

Baylor Assistant Damion McKinney Wore A Tablecloth As A Necktie To The National Championship
I believe that's Baylor women's assistant coach Damion McKinney as spotted before last night's 80-61 victory that capped off a 40-0 season for the lady Bears. I have no idea what he is wearing as a necktie. Did he eat at Red Lobster and forget to remove his bib? Was he arguing before the United Sta...

High School Girl Charged With Assault After Brutal Soccer Beatdown
Throw out the formalities when Lewisville and Chester get together, that's what I always say. The South Carolina schools met for a women's soccer match Monday evening, and it ended with the police being called. That New Mexico-BYU game has nothing on this one....

Geno Auriemma, Mr. Women's Basketball
"Does this look like the office of a fucking egomaniac?" He makes a sweeping gesture with his arm. A coach's office. Small, cluttered. Papers strewn across his desk, the papers inked with symbols in odd patterns, like ancient hieroglyphics, waiting for future generations to decode them. X's and O's,...

Baylor's Brittney Griner Is The Second Woman To Ever Dunk In An NCAA Tournament Game
Brittney Griner's dunk early in the second half against Florida gave top-ranked Baylor a 13-point cushion, but it was only the second time a woman had dunked in a NCAA tournament game, after Tennessee's Candace Parker did it twice against Army back in the 2006 tourney. The throwdown was Griner's s...

Onscreen Typos Don't Get Much More Unfortunate Than This
It's bad enough 10 seed Iowa State gets to play at home, but Iowa City market station KCRG-Cedar Rapids just had to play the stereotype card, didn't they? (Not to mention Green Bay dropped the UW part of their name some time ago.) We can only imagine what they called the Hawkeyes' first round oppon...

Cornell Defender Sends Her Team To The Frozen Four On Dazzling Goal In Triple Overtime
Lauriane Rougeau sent Boston University packing, and the season high home crowd of 2,143 Cornell fans into hysterics, when she slipped this one past the goalie to end what amounted to two full games of hockey played. Cornell won the wild game, that featured a three-goal-comeback by each team, 8-7....

The U.S. Women's Open Of Bowling Will Be Held Outdoors, In The Least Magical Place On Earth
What you're looking at is an artist's conception of the U.S. Women's Open, which will follow in the footsteps of the NHL's Winter Classic and the NCAA's aircraft carrier game by being held outside, under the desert sun, in downtown Reno, Nevada. I can't think of a better gift for your worst enemy....

The "Scam Cup": How A Very American TV Event Gives U.S. Gymnasts A Leg Up On The Olympic Competition
If you listen to USA Gymnastics and NBC, it's one of the most important Olympic tune-ups. If you listen to the rest of the world, it's a glorified showcase for American athletes. So maybe it's fitting that the American Cup's highest-scoring female gymnast wasn't even entered in the competition. ...

Georgia Soccer Player Arrested For Shoving $1.06 Worth Of Hash Browns Down Her Pants
It's not that University of Georgia soccer player Carli Shultis didn't have the money to pay for the hash browns she craved at the Bulldog Cafe last Tuesday morning. It's just that, well, it feels good to get one over on the man by sticking those crispy tater treats down one's pants....

"Shitballs": Curling Profanity Is Strange
You can throw out the record books when the Alberta and Quebec women's curling teams get together. It got pretty heated yesterday at the Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Canada's women's championship), when Alberta skip Heather Nedohin let loose a creative swear word after coming up short on her sho...

The Best And Worst Of Women's Hoops, In One Insane Crossover
Chloe Rothman is a freshman point guard for the D2 Merrimack Warriors, and at a recent game, broke 40 percent of the opposing team's ankles with one ridiculous crossover. Great move, poor defensive spacing. Sadly, the wide-open layup attempt with the 5-on-3 advantage was not successful. [via Barst...