x Page 1031 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Honey, I Shrunk The AL East Lead
Here we go again ... The Yankees honey mustered six runs in the eighth, immediately erasing a five-run deficit, en route to an 8-7 victory over the Sox at Fenway. Jason Giambi and Robinson Cano started the comeback with home runs off Hideki Okajima. Derek Jeter followed with an RBI single against Jo...
Boxing Just Wants To Host Keggers
Boxing's popularity might be on the wane, to say the least (among white people, anyway), but Roy Jones Jr. is not afraid to be innovative. He's searching everywhere for an untapped base of fans, and he's even willing to join a frat to do it....
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
Herm Edwards, 0-1, The Way God Intended
I think we were pretty sure that Cleveland wouldn't rock this year, and New England smashing the Jets this year shouldn't really surprise anybody. And even Minnesota blowing out a Harrington-led Falcon team shouldn't raise too many eyebrows... ...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
On 2nd and goal w/ 20 seconds to go and one timeout, Marshall's head coach elects to center the ball and kick a FG rather than go for the touchdown. Who knew Pam Ward's vagina was contagious? -Insomniac's Lounge...
Theo Epstein Is A Robot And Will Eventually Enslave Us All
In another chapter in our repeated quest to understand the quixotic planet of Red Sox Nation, we delve down the rabbit hole of the saga of Clay Buchholz....
It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...
Just Two Hours Left To Buy GREAT ART
We really don't know any other way to put this: You can currently buy a painting of Michael Vick riding Barbaro. Worlds collide, combine and explode....
A-Rod Will Keep Hitting Them Out As Long As You Keep Teeing Them Up
The two-home-runs-in-one-inning phenomenon, usually found only in Little League and the softball game at your company picnic, appeared at Yankee Sradium on Wednesday in the form of a limping, self-satisfied Alex Rodriguez. The two clouts in an eight-run seventh led New York over Seattle 10-2, effect...
Women Are From Venus, Ivanovic's Are From Heaven
While it's always good to see Venus Williams healthy and playing at her peak I can't help but lament the loss of her opponent. Ana Ivanovic (previously featured for her sexiness in these parts by Dan Shanoff) was easily the sexiest creature remaining in the women's draw—although Rafael Nadal sure is...
Rodney Harrison Comes Clean, League Remains Dirty
The Patriots plan for a 19-0 season took a big hit today when it was announced that Rodney Harrison has been suspended for the first four games of the regular season. New England's veteran safety's name came up in a federal investigation that's going to rock Roger Goodell's world. When questioned by...
Behold The Upper Thigh Of Bill Simmons
We mean not to ruin your breakfast / brunch / 10:45 a.m. taco, but we weren't the only ones befuddled yesterday as to why Bill Simmons ran an extreme closeup picture of his leg hair....
Red Sox Fans Try To Explain The President Of Red Sox Nation Thing
We do not speak the language of Red Sox Nation. We do not dislike the Red Sox, or their fans, and we do not think the city of Boston is racist. We love Boston! We just don't understand the Red Sox Nation thing; it just scares us. That said, many of our best friends are Red Sox fans, and they're at l...
Just How Into God Is Michael Vick?
Plenty of discussion yesterday on Michael Vick's apology following his guilty plea for that whole dogfighting business. Frankly, we were a little taken aback by Vick's press conference; as SI.com put it, it was "among the most apologetic remarks ever heard by a professional athlete." We had been exp...
Vick Officially Pleads Guilty ... But We're Just Starting
Well, it's now official, as if we didn't know it already and somehow needed hours of coverage all morning (including Bob Ley saying it's "the biggest story, sports or otherwise, in the country right now" on the day the attorney general of the United States resigned): Michael Vick has officially plea...