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David Ortiz Goes On Slowest Home Run Trot On Record
Thanks to our friends at Tater Trot Tracker, who have been timing home run trots for years now, we know that nobody takes his time getting around the bases quite like David Ortiz does....

Screencap Classix: May 9, 2010
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Jeff Withey Completes The Rare Pass Off Of The Referee's Head
Pelicans center Jeff Withey's pass was swatted by Eric Bledsoe, right into the noggin of official Bennie Adams and back to Withey. You can hear the "doink!" sound in your head....

Watch The Marvelous Pregame Show Projected Onto A CHL Team's Rink
Last month, the Cleveland Cavaliers used a projection system on their court for a cool pregame video, and this week, a CHL club did something similar on their rink....

Jose Abreu Makes His Big-League Splash With Two Homers
It didn't take long for Yasiel Puig and Yoenis Cespedes to go from being Cuban defectors shrouded in mystery to household names. Based on what he did last night, it looks like White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu, the latest Cuban-born star to arrive in the majors, is on a similar path to stardom....

Dikembe Mutombo Says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" Never Happened
Today is a very sad day. Dikembe Mutombo went on Highly Questionable and destroyed one of sports' greatest urban legends, emphatically denying that he ever walked into a club and yelled,"Who wants to sex Mutombo?"...

Dancing And Kicking Ass: The Photography Of John Goodman
In his first solo exhibition in New York, photographer John Goodman combines images he's taken of boxers and ballerinas Most of his work was made backstage at the Boston Ballet and out of the legendary, now defunct Times Square Gym. He has shared some of the stories behind some his work with us. If ...

Your Stadium Timeout Diversions, Ranked
I'm on vacation next week, which means the Funbag will be commandeered by a MYSTERY HOST. Who will be the mystery host? Will it be someone famous? Someone unexpected? Or someone you've seen around here before and his (or her!) revelation will probably be a bit of a letdown for you? I think the ...

Alex Poythress Shows No Ill Effects From Leg Injured In Celebration
Following Kentucky's win over Wisconsin Saturday night, Alex Poythress looked to suffer a pretty painful leg injury. He got himself stuck at the bottom of a celebratory pile-up on the court, and twisted his leg and was in obvious pain. By the look of things tonight, all seems to be OK. ...

Lacrosse Dad Sues Coaches For Not Playing His Son
Lacrosse: still the worst. The latest piece of evidence in support of this statement comes to us from the lacrosse fields of North Texas, where one man has filed a RICO lawsuit against the owners of the Dallas Lacrosse Academy, whom he claims are intimidating, threatening, and extorting players into...

That Isn't Arian Foster, Ma'am
Some dude is apparently pretending to be Arian Foster, or at least didn't correct this woman when she posed for a photo with him....

Two Hours Of The Lexington Police Scanner After UK Wins, Set To Music
Kentucky's thrilling wins over Louisville, Michigan, and Wisconsin have delivered the Wildcats to tomorrow's NCAA national championship. They've also prompted UK students to engage in, ah, "civil disobedience."...

Brayan Villarreal Threw Only Four Pitches To Get A World Series Ring
Reliever Brayan Villarreal didn't throw a strike for the Red Sox last season. In his only appearance with the team, he gave up a walkoff walk to Marco Scutaro for a 3-2 Giants win. But despite his forgettable appearance, Villarreal still received a World Series ring on Friday at Fenway Park....

Alex Poythress Gets Leg Tangled Up In Post-Game Celebration
Alex Poythress got his leg caught at the bottom of the post-game celebration on the court following Kentucky's win over Wisconsin. It looked kind of scary, what with him being stuck under his entire team, but hopefully it's a case of things looking worse than they actually are. ...

Your Field Guide To WrestleMania XXX
WrestleMania is the kind of thing you can really only discuss in superlatives: it's the biggest, the loudest, the most-hyped, the most outrageous, the most ridiculous, and the most fun. Yes, pro wrestling is a totally unique performance art, one of the last direct links to an old, weird America, etc...

The Glam-Sissy Wrestling Odyssey Of Exotic Adrian Street
Exotic Adrian Street is a former professional wrestler and incomparable icon of style, famous for his flamboyant ring antics and provocative fashion sense years before everyone wore capes and/or makeup. Born in Great Britain in 1940, Street ran away from home (and the coal mines of Wales) to find hi...

Never Buy New Sneakers In March. Never.
These are my new shoes. I have had them for, oh, a little longer than a week. They are muddy shit, now. I tell myself that I will clean them later, but we all know that even if that does happen—even if I do not forget; even if I am not overwhelmed by the obvious futility of such an enterprise—"cl...

White Sox Games Are Eerily Empty
Baseball is not dying. The White Sox should not be contracted. It is April, and it is cold and gray and wet in Chicago, and normal people are at work or in school. There are many more reasons not to be at U.S. Cellular Field than there are to be there, but my goodness: That is an empty ballpark....

FSU Investigates Jameis Winston, Charges 2 Teammates In Rape Case
Weeks after leading the Florida State Seminoles to a national championship, quarterback Jameis Winston was quietly interrogated by university administrators, and two of his teammates were brought up on school conduct charges related to allegations that Winston raped a fellow student, according to a ...

Run The Jules: Your Guide To The USMNT's Newest (Maybe?) Star
During last night's USA-Mexico friendly, USMNT fans finally got a glimpse of Julian Green, the 18-year-old superstar-in-the-making(?) who spurned Germany to play for the US. The massive excitement at his arrival is matched only by the massive amount we don't know about him. Who is this guy? Is he re...