x Page 873 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

North Dakota Passes A Law To Protect UND's Fighting Sioux Mascot; NCAA Will Make Them Break It
This week in North Dakota, where all news is news, the state legislature passed a law mandating that "the intercollegiate athletic teams sponsored by the [U]niversity of North Dakota shall be known as the [U]niversity of North Dakota fighting Sioux." Yes, the logo and nickname that the NCAA deemed w...

The Restless Mind Of C.J. Wilson, The Rangers' Straight-Edge, Tolkien-Reading Enemy Of MLB Douchebags
The following is excerpted from Curtis's cover story in the May issue of Texas Monthly about the Rangers — "an AA meeting in spikes," he writes....

Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...

Transgenders On Wheels
Tipster Mike writes in to alert us to the WFTDA's new policy on transgender athletes. Huh?...

How To Deal With Crappy Refereeing: Quit The League
Mark Cuban take note: three teams in the Premier Basketball League have left the organization after some decidedly one-sided refereeing in the finals....

Blood On The Walls: Choice Bits From Blazers Owner Paul Allen's New Book
Paul Allen of Microsoft fame and fortune just published a memoir called "Idea Man." Chapter 14 is about the Blazers and basketball. In it, Allen claims that he beat Clyde Drexler and Kiki Vandeweghe in a game of HORSE. He says his friendship with The Glide affected his judgment and caused him to for...

Victor Ortiz Versus Andre Berto Round Six: A Lesson In Gameness
Welterweights Victor Ortiz and Andre Berto put it down on Saturday night for the WBC title. It was the kind of fight where you catch yourself yelling at the TV, then step back and marvel that you're yelling at the TV while watching boxing, which gives you flashbacks to when you used to do that sor...

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

There Are No Winners In Louisiana Jello Wrestling, Only Screams And Suggestive Techniques
People say we don't offer enough coverage of wrestling, the caveat being that the dearth applies to wrestlers not yet dead. Fair enough....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The NBA Playoffs start with four games on today's schedule. Pacers vs. Bulls at 1 p.m. Sixers at Heat at 3:30 p.m. Hawks at the Magic at 7 p.m. Blazers at Mavs at 9:30 p.m. Throw all the octopi you want; it's fantastic. Except in Orlando, where they're already scared Dwight Howard might take his ta...

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

Joba Chamberlain Will Protect His PlateYou Can Now Watch Joba Protect His Plate At The Official Website Of Major League Baseball
The Yankees came from behind to beat the Orioles 6-5 in ten innings of play last night. Joe Girardi called this play "the difference in the game."...

The Greatest Facebook Fail Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

12 Of The Year's Punchiest Hockey Fights, Evaluated By A Boxing Writer
As far as I can tell, the main difference between boxing and hockey fights is that during a hockey fight, you're standing on ice. And sliding all over the place. Therefore it becomes important to hold your opponents in place with one hand to stabilize them before you can hit them. Other than that,...

The Sultan Of Twat: Babe Ruth's Swinging First Few Years With The Yankees
The following is excerpted from Weintraub's The House That Ruth Built, about Babe Ruth, the Yankees, and the 1923 baseball season....

A Quintessential Night In An American Hospital
Going to the hospital sucks. Aggressively. Hospitals know this, of course. But they have no interest in NOT sucking because if going to the hospital were pleasant and breezy, then everyone would go and the staff would be overloaded and have little or no time to fuck each other in the laundry room. E...

The Stupid Barry Bonds Prosecution, In A Stupid Nutshell
As you all know, Barry Bonds was convicted yesterday on a single count of rambling in the first degree. (No, seriously. Seven years of this shit, and that's what they got him on — evading a question he ultimately answered. Aggravated incoherence. A felony charge of Not Being Freaking Pericles in the...

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

Here's Video Of A Goal That Made A Minor-League Hockey Announcer Lose Any Semblance Of Control
When the Lewiston MAINEiacs took a 2-1 lead over the Montreal Junior in their Quebec Major Junior Hockey League second-round series, announcer D.J. Abisalih got excited. Like, really, really, really excited. Which was understandable considering Étienne Brodeur's goal broke a tie with five seconds ...

In Mr. Jackson's First-Grade Class, Steve Blake Gets Chicken Pox; Kobe, Bynum, and Artest At Risk
Your Los Angeles Lakers are not invincible. Bynum's hurt his knee again, and now, in infectious disease news, Steve Blake has the chicken pox....