x Page 872 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Five Major Nonsexual Male Daydreams
I was at the airport last night and I lost big at Rental Car Roulette. I kept waiting for my rental car company's shuttle to show up as wave after wave of other, better companies had busses whizzing by every six seconds. I must have seen 37 Hertz buses while I stood out there like a GASH. You will p...
A-Rod Lets Girlfriend And Niece Charge $17,600 To His Credit Card, Then Demands Refund
This latest A-Rod Thing comes to us via the New York Post, which reports that A-Rod brought girlfriend Torrie Wilson and niece Michelle Silva to a Manhattan boutique last month, gave them free rein of his black AmEx card, and "joked around with the saleswomen while the girls shopped," according to a...
What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...
C.J. Wilson Tweets Mike Napoli's Phone Number. It's Less "Good Prank, Guy" And More "Wow, Dick Move."
Oh good, I see we've reached that point of spring training where everyone's bored and ready for real baseball to start. Tis the silly season, when online personality and sometime pitcher C.J. Wilson takes to Twitter and posts former teammate Mike Napoli's cell phone number to the world....
The Dolphins Have Spent An Offseason Humiliating Themselves
Believe me when I tell you that I say this with zero malice: the Dolphins are a pathetic franchise at the moment. It's not so much that two weeks ago they were certain they were going to have Peyton Manning throwing to Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne, and now they may have to content themselves wi...
When Irish Eyes Are Swollen: How Sergio Martinez Beat Matthew Macklin On St. Patrick's Day
Reputations are hard to earn. And they're hard to keep. They come with benefits. But they can also hang on a fighter like a chain, an extra burden in a sport that's hard enough as it is. Reputations can't be carried throughout a fight. They must be shed like a robe and donned again when the fight is...
Blake Griffin Owes This Woman Popcorn And A Soda
A little hustle from Blake Griffin (and a little shove from Jason Maxiell) sent Griffin into the first row of the Staples Center crowd, spilling some lady's food and drink. At arena prices, that'll require a claims adjuster....
Here Is A Man Playing With His Dentures After The Lehigh-Xavier Game
Lehigh couldn't pull off another miracle, losing 70-58 to Xavier tonight in Greensboro. The Mountain Hawks' performance, though, must have left a bitter taste in this man's mouth. [TruTV]...
There's A 13-Seed In The Sweet Sixteen, And It's Ohio
For the first time since Bradley in 2006, a 13-seed is going to the Sweet Sixteen. Ohio held off USF in the final minutes of a closely-fought game, and they'll take on top-seeded North Carolina in the St. Louis regional. Here's what the final moments looked like on TBS and sounded like as called b...
Matt Flynn Signs With The Seattle Seahawks, Dolphins Running Out Of Options
According to Adam Schefter, Green Bay Packers backup quarterback Matt Flynn has agreed to terms with the Seahawks on a three year, $26 million contract. Schefter reports up to $10 million will be guaranteed....
Phony Penn State Baseball Star And Potential Trustee Made An Absurd Campaign Video
There he is: Anthony Lubrano. So majestic, so clean-shaven. So statuesque, presiding over the sports complex that bears his name. I pause here to remind you—because Mr. Lubrano is under no obligation to do so himself—that the field bears his name because he paid for it and that he was on the equiv...
Alex Ovechkin Picked Norfolk State (And So Did A Hairless Cat)
Everyone needs to take back all the mean things they said about Alex Ovechkin's third-grade napkin scrawl of a bracket. He nailed the Norfolk State over Mizzou upset, and appears to have them advancing to the Elite Eight....
Here's Video Of Police Arresting A Family That Chanted Prayers And Danced Naked Around A High School Parking Lot
The video above shows the scene earlier this afternoon outside Upper Darby High School in suburban Philly. The footage was sent to us by a reader, and it looks and sounds like it was filmed by a student inside a classroom at the school. As the scene unfolds, the students watching from inside the s...
Cockblocked On St. Patrick's Day!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Snowmobiling Across A Body Of Water Looks Just As Thrilling As It Seems Like It Would Be
It's called snowmobile skipping, and apparently it's a thing. The idea is to develop enough speed to hydroplane across the water's surface. The person armed with a camera while doing it here, on Stoney Lake in Ontario, Canada, succeeds brilliantly. That said, YouTube's got plenty of other videos th...
Sex Offenders And NHL Success: An Astonishingly Accurate New Metric
I'm not big on advanced stats in hockey. It's not because I don't think they're valuable, but because it's tough to translate the concepts to what I'm seeing on the ice. It's my own ignorance, yes, but for a new generation of hockey metrics to take hold, they'll have to be more relatable to the aver...
Omaha Fifth-Grader Sent To Principal's Office For Running NCAA Pool
Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. Until then, young men like Max Kohll only have to go to the principal's office after they engage in unspeakable crimes....
Coach K Is A Dick
Excerpted from Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell's thorough charge-by-charge frisking of the worst college basketball program known to man, which is out now....
This Is What It Looks Like When A Baseball Team Takes Cover During A Gunfight
A running battle between state police and a group of gunmen broke out outside a Mexican League game in the northern city of Saltillo, interrupting a game between the Saraperos and a local youth team. Fans and players ducked for cover, but there were no injuries reported inside the stadium. Police ki...
The IRQ Car Decal: Noble Or Horrible?
I hate Euro Decals. HATE THEM. They are the fucking scourge of the highways: one goddamn SUV after another with some precious OBX circle sticker planted somewhere above the trunk handle. People like slapping Euro decals on their car because they like letting you know where they spend their leisure t...