x Page 877 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

How To Identify Satanic Sacrifice: A Helpful, Creepy Police Training Video
This old police training video teaches up-and-coming detectives how to look for signs that their murder victim has been sacrificed to Satan. One such clue: often "a penis is placed inside the mouth of the deceased person." Good to know. [Metal Insider]...

Bay Area Denny's Serves Up Halloween Brawl
As funny as it is to see a "skeleton" get pelted with a chair, this is the third such incident we've seen at a Bay Area chain-dining establishment. It's officially a trend....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...

Drunk Chicagoan Scales Dinosaur After Bears Win
Well, maybe he's not drunk, just living out the fantasies we all had as five-year-olds. I'm sure the Field Museum loves being smack dab between Soldier Field and the regional rail station....

Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....

World's Worst Muay Thai Ref Sees No Problems With Garbage Can Lids
A pretty exciting Muay Thai match becomes a whole different animal after the introduction of some garbage can lids. Then it becomes a regular match again, all the while the referee does nothing. Niche sports are fantastic sometimes. [The Spoiler]...

Heat Strokes, Game 10: Miami Teaches Its Pitiful Fans How To Cheer
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....

Manny Pacquiao, Cam Newton Or A Bull In Edmonton: Who Was The Biggest Winner?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Should've Been You, Floyd" Pacquiao/Margarito Open Thread
So, Antonio Margarito's camp apologized for mocking Manny Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach, who has Parkinson's disease and thinks Manny wins by KO....

College Volleyball Team Uses Softball Players To Fill Roster
Remember that whole Quinnipiac women's volleyball/cheerleading Title IX thing? Fine, refresh your memory here. And here. So, we agree volleyball was about to get nixed but didn't because cheerleading isn't a sport for gender-equity purposes ... or something?...

The One Where Kenny Mayne Jokes About Brett Favre's Penchant For Public Nudity
T'was a simpler time when ESPN's Kenny Mayne pitched a witty skit into which he led, "Legendary is faint praise for Brett Favre when he quarterbacks in the bitter cold of Green Bay. It's then that No. 4 elevates to immortal....

Heat Strokes, Game 9: Rethinking The Big Three
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The Confessions Of A Misery Voyeur: Your Guest Jamboroo
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Our own Katie Baker is filling in for him this week....

Demolition Goes Wrong: Smokestack Falls The Wrong Way
A 300-foot tower at an abandoned power plant tumbled the wrong way during demolition yesterday, taking out buildings and power lines but thankfully no people. [WKYC]...

CNN Gives Us The Mother Of All Telestrator Dongs
Everything about this picture is ideal: facial expressions, hand gestures, and, especially, telestrator dong placement (TDP). Why, this telestrator dong was so perfect, The Daily Show got in on the fun. Video after the jump....

A Very Special Edition Of The Funbag: Your Questions, Answered By A Woman!
Good afternoon! I'm taking a brief break from lady-wrangling over at Jezebel so that I may have the pleasure of filling in for Drew today. Because while his funbags are considerable, mine are better....

Why Did FanHouse Pull Video Of Antonio Margarito And Brandon Rios Joking About Freddie Roach's Parkinson's? (UPDATE)
Prepping for his fight with Manny Pacquiao, Margarito and Rios made some ill-advised jokes about Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach's Parkinson's disease. The video, shot by a FanHouse "reporter," was edited to take out the bad stuff, then deleted altogether. Here it is....