x Page 878 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Wakefield Is Retiring After 19 Weird, Fluttery Seasons And 200 Wins
The knuckleballer's mystique has long fascinated us. Our curiosity was only further piqued when Phil Niekro, Charlie Hough, R.A. Dickey, and Tim Wakefield went on a two-day retreat together in Georgia in the offseason. They're a fraternity of oddballs who throw odd balls....

Dereck Chisora Slapped Vitali Klitschko At The Weigh-In Before Tomorrow's Title Bout
In the annals of boxing blunders—and the exploits of Mike Tyson have made those some very thick books indeed—you may be unlikely to find an act so brazen and stupid as what Dereck Chisora did today in Munich at the weigh-in for his WBC heavyweight title fight against Vitali Klitschko. ...

Quiet, Please, For Professor Don King's Lecture On History, Anatomy, Geography, And, Uh, "Wetbacks"
Wordsmith and bombast aficionado Don King made an appearance in Corpus Christi yesterday to promote a bout this weekend in Texas' City by the Sea, and delivered a rambling lecture that the Corpus Christi Caller-Times says drew gasps from the audience....

Fox 5 New York: "Gary Carter Will Be Remembered As One Of The Elite Pitchers In Baseball History"
WNYW's Adrienne Supino did her best to report on the passing of Gary Carter tonight, but struggled a bit when it came to knowing which position the Hall of Fame catcher played in the majors. It wasn't the first Fox blunder today when it came to Carter's death....

Gary Carter Went Out With A Win
There's a great line in the New York Times obituary of Gary Carter that says he "may have led the 1986 Mets in hugging teammates."...

Fox Sports Typo Has Gary Carter Growing Up In The Great Depression
Presumably it was a typo that gave Gary Carter the birth year of 1926 in Foxsports.com's front page splash, but it's an odd typo considering it's not close to his actual birth year of 1954. An emailer suggests he was confused with professional bowler Don Carter. We wish the Kid had another 28 years ...

Gary Carter Has Died
After months of increasingly dire reports of Gary Carter's battle with brain cancer, the Hall of Fame catcher passed away today at the age of 57. The news was first reported by the Times's Richard Sandomir....

Boxing Conflicts With His Newfound Religious Beliefs, So Manny Pacquiao Is Reportedly Considering Retirement
Before Manny Pacquiao defeated Juan Manuel Marquez in November, his hobbies included womanizing, drinking, and gambling. He even owned roosters he used for fighting. But sometime after the Marquez bout, according to the Filipino newspaper Minda News, Pacquiao began attending Bible study classes—and ...

Children's Music Will Destroy Your Good Taste Forever; Or, How I Came To Like Kidz Bop
I have two kids, and so I have to listen to lots of kids' music. Horrible, awful, miserable kids' music. Almost all of it is complete dogshit. All of the songs from Dora are horrible. All of the songs from Thomas the Tank Engine are puke. And whoever wrote the Bond-style songs for Special Agent Oso ...

Half-Headed Guy From That One Mugshot Films "Drugness And Driving" PSA While Smoking A Blunt
We first told you about the half-headed man a little more than a year ago, when his bust in Miami for soliciting a prostitute produced the most bizarre mug shot of all time. The Miami New Times has been trying to track him down to tell his story ever since, and they've learned he's been arrested fo...

When Valentine's Day Role-Playing Games Involving Public Nudity and Duct Tape Go Awry
"A Portland (Oregon) couple was jailed for disorderly conduct Tuesday after a role playing incident led witnesses to believe a woman was being held against her will in a car. ... Witnesses reported seeing a Subaru Legacy leaving the parking lot with a naked female who was tied up in the back with d...

Someone Just Tried To Disrupt The Best In Show Judging At Madison Square Garden
We have practically no information about this, other than that a woman with a sign tried to rush the stage as Best In Show was about to be announced at the Westminster Kennel Club show at Madison Square Garden. Twitter rumors say the sign said something about PETA, but we don't really have any con...

Fifty-Something College Student Can't Fathom Why His "Hot-For-Teacher" Essay Upset His Hot Teacher
Joseph Corlett is 56 years old. And Joseph Corlett attends Oakland University in Rochester, Mich. Well, he did attend that esteemed academy. Seems as if the university elders and others just didn't get an essay he wrote for "Advanced Critical Writing" class....

We Are All Witnesses To A Magisterial Slap-To-The-Head Flop
This is from London. There, it seems, suited security guards have more leeway to engage in full-on Rick James-esque slaps to others's earholes. Said guard immediately seems to have a tinge of regret to his actions, though....

This Weekend In Naked Barely-Legal Cowgirl Driving News
"Meet Taylor Burnham. When Corpus Christi cops responded to a suspicious person call early Sunday, they spotted Burnham, 18, standing in an alleyway next to a Jeep Wrangler. The teenager was naked, except for a pair of cowboy boots. After spotting cops, Burnham hopped in the Jeep and took off at ar...

This Division II Player's Dunk Is One Of The Best You'll See This Season, At Any Level
That's Cal State San Bernardino's Kwame Alexander taking off with two feet just before the free-throw line and basically dunking over a defender from Cal State Stanislaus on Friday night. And it happened exactly one week after Alexander had done this with another dunk on an alley-oop. [The Dagger]...

Only A Fool Would Want His Kid To Play Football
I had to go get my watch fixed the other day, and the watch fixing place that I go to is one of those old school clockmaker shops that looks like it's run by a serial killer. There are old clocks all over the place and random magazine clippings tacked to the wall, with all kinds of strange tools sca...

The MLB Scout And His Sex Slave: A Baseball Love Story
The life of the baseball scout is a lonely one. Long drives in a pickup to dusty diamonds in forgotten corners of this nation, or maybe the Caribbean or maybe South America. Long days in the bleachers with no companion but his radar gun. Long nights in a Bradenton Motel 6 or a Caracas Sleep Inn, alo...

Handjobs, Butt-To-Butt Action, And Other Sex Secrets Of The Champion Show Dog
For his new book, Show Dog: the Charmed Life and Trying Times of a Near-Perfect Purebred, Josh Dean spent more than a year following a champion show dog named Jack, a young Australian Shepherd. In the following excerpt, Jack—who is owned by a single mother from Pennsylvania named Kimberly Smith—trie...

The Stages Of Internet Grief, As Applied To Whitney Houston's Death
0. Basic Twitter Check...