x Page 893 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, Michael Irvin's Had Sex In His Hall Of Fame Jacket
AND NOTHING ELSE. Now that you've got that mental image, here's the money quote....

A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
Your letters:...

Last Night's Winner: Bankruptcy Auction Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the reporters working the Texas Rangers bankruptcy auction, who got quite a showdown last night between two of the biggest figures in Texas sports....

Only Peyton Could Make A Badass Visor Look Goofy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Germany Being Overrun By Radioactive Boars
Twenty-five years after Chernobyl, German scientists are finding that more and more of the country's skyrocketing boar population is radioactive. The Russian payback for WWII will never end. [Der Spiegel, via]...

LeBron James Is Going To Fix The South Florida Housing Market
Today's newest LeBron news: he's going to fix the housing market in the Miami area because so many people want to be nearer to his effervescence, witness spectacular basketball, and jump on and off the bandwagon as close to home as possible....

Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...

I Don't Care About Alex Rodriguez's 600th Home Run
As a Yankees fan, people have been asking me for the past few weeks what I thought about A-Rod's chase for 600. Okay, nobody's asked me that. But my girlfriend did ask if 600 is a lot. Yeah, I suppose it is....

Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...

Reporter Interviewing An Ice Sculptor? What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
The world would be a far worse place if it weren't for the heroes committing gaffes on local newscasts. Whether they're advocating continued fowl fornicating or digging into whether penis is being enjoyed or not, they light up our lives....

In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...

Forbes Uses Science! To Prove Red Sox Have The Best Fans
The metrics: attendance, merchandise sales, and something called "in-market popularity." Which sounds like most fans rather than best, but who are we to argue with photo slideshows? [Forbes]...

Little Kid Freaks Out Over X Games Flasher
Watch the boy on the stairs. I didn't realize it was humanly possible to be that excited about a woman showing her breasts, especially if you haven't gone through puberty yet....

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....

Rex Ryan Loses Weight-Loss Contest, Despite Having Lap-Band Surgery
The Jets coach came in third out of three, in a race with two of his players to see who could drop the most pounds in the offseason. That's even with the surgery which makes it impossible not to lose weight....

Mike Tyson Did <em>The Hangover</em> For Drug Money
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mike Tyson....

Intern Horrors: The Republican Party Makes You Puke
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns tell their saddest and most embarrassing tales of incompetence or incontinence. Today: the perils of campaign canvassing, wrecking the "Country Cruiser," and The Great Poop Duel Of Several Years Ago. Misdirecting Headline Warning!...

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....