x Page 947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, The Things We Could Demolish Today
Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field....
If They Were Athletes: The Robots From <i>Mega Man II</i>
You've thought to yourself, "Y'know, those extremely agile and powerful Nintendo characters would be great at sports." But who would they be, if manifested in reality?...
This Was Not The Week For Ex-Athletes To Be At Odds With Lovers
On the day of Steve McNair's funeral, another sordid story comes to light as Arturo Gatti's wife has been detained as a result of the boxer's death....
We Were Wrong. He Can Go Lower
Jose Canseco didn't fare so well against a real fighter. Now he'll try his luck boxing Bill "El Wingador" Simmons. That's not a nickname for the Sports Fella, it's a guy who eats for a living.[Celebrity Boxing Federation]...
Arturo Gatti Reported Killed In Brazil (Update)
Arturo "Thunder" Gatti, one of the most entertaining boxer of the decade, is being reported murdered in Brazil at the age of 37. Tracking, obviously. Sadly true. [Google Translator/CBC]...
Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]...
The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?!...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oriole Park At Camden Yards
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oriole Park at Camden Yards....
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
Playing For Pittsburgh Makes Ian Snell Depressed
Add Ian Snell to the list of baseball players struggling with mental issues this season. The good news is that he seems to found a causal link between his crippling depression and playing baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates....
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....
Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....
Live-Streaming The Love Life And After-Life Of Steve McNair
McNair's best friend Robert Gaddy says, despite all glaring indications, Mechelle and Steve weren't getting for a divorce. Nope, the happy couple was buying a new home together. Now stop asking him about the 20-year-old girlfriend....
That Last Name Never Gets Easier To Spell
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...
The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Let's Get This Over With Early: Joakim Noah Smokes Weed, Anonymous, Possibly Fake Text Messager Says
"smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands" [Texts From Last Night] (PHOTO: Not From Last Night)...
The Nathan's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Is America
Is there anything more distinctly American than celebrating our independence by holding a contest to see who could consume the most processed meat? Photographer Erin Siegal and I ventured out to Coney Island to take it all in....
A Mexican Murder Mystery Featuring Masked Mini-Wrestlers A Roving Gang Of Hookers And Perez Hilton
I always enjoy news stories that appear to be plucked from the mind of a struggling screenwriter deep in the throes of a salvia trip. Like this one about two tiny Mexican wrestlers found dead in a shady hotel room....