x Page 947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Worst News Lede You'll Read All Year (UPDATE)
"For the past month, body parts have been piling up around Miami-Dade and Broward counties like extra pounds on Kim Kardashian come Christmas time." [Miami New-Times, Google cache Screengrab below]...
![Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen
What could be better than the quirky White Sox manager under your tree Christmas morning? This foulmouthed outtake reel, wherein Ozzie tries to sell you his nipples, or something....
Who Wants To See A Cockatoo Singing That Drowning Pool Song?
We consider this a public service to the five of you who haven't yet seen Lolita the cockatoo singing the WWE classic, "Bodies."...
The Best, Most Deranged Story About Gwar You'll Ever Read
There are band profiles and there are Gwar profiles and then there's this: The first part of J. Bennett's monstrous, satisfyingly disturbing Gwar piece, "Slay Bells," is after the jump, courtesy of Decibel. Prepare for words that haunt....
Matt Schaub And The Texans Poop The Bed Once Again
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schaub's second half doesn't absolve an OT pick-six....
Heat Strokes, Game 26: LeBron James And The End Times
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
This Texans Fan Had The Best Pick On National Television Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
"Do You Experience 'Being Real' In Connection With The 'Texas Rangers' Brand?"
The Texas Rangers have sent out a marketing survey to their newsletter subscribers. Among other things, the front office wants to know if Rangers fans want the team to be "75% Wild West" Texas and "25% Today's" Texas. Or is 50-50 preferable?...
Heat Strokes, Games 24 & 25: Showtime
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
Anyone Want To Apply For Texas's Defensive Coordinator Job?
The school's job posting is up, and from this we can learn all sorts of fascinating stuff about the position. It entails "direct customer contact," "exposure to large crowds," and "climbing of ladders," for instance. Also: "Hours per week: 40.00 Variable."...
The Pleasures Of Watching Large Men Punch Each Other Very Hard
NEWARK — It's easy to see why people love heavyweight boxing. The size of the fighters, their power, their comforting, worship-worthy superhumanity. A good heavyweight fight is awe-inspiring. But first, you have to find two good heavyweights....
Weekend Winner: Unexpected Stadium Destructo-Porn
FOX's video of the Metrodome bubble collapsing is some of the most visually arresting footage we've seen in a long time. How did they get it? A tip that the roof was going to cave in, of course....
Luther Campbell Is As Newsy As He Wants To Be
We can't be sure yet, but it does appear that Uncle Luke himself has scooped everyone on Randy Shannon's hiring at Texas. This is like the time Special Ed broke the Iran-Contra affair....
Indiana Man Selling "Racist Soaps" Doesn't Have Time For "You Politically Correct People"
An Indiana shopkeeper stands accused of selling racist soaps. Gary DeWester, the merchant, says they're "nostalgic" and representative of "American history." He keeps them in his "joke drawer."...
My 2003 Interview With Fred Phelps Of The Westboro Baptist Church
The Westboro Baptist Church will be disrupting the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards this weekend. Here's an interview I did with Pastor Phelps right before he and his church were headed to Pittsburgh to protest poor Mr. Rogers' funeral. [TheMightyBlackTable]...
Cockblocked By Skidmarks!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...
CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....
Heat Strokes, Game 23: The Splendors Of Boredom
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....