yes Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A.J Hawk's Shotgunnish Wedding?
If you were trying to book a wedding next March in Columbus, Ohio, over the last few months — not that anybody we know might have been — one of the primo spots in town was booked for a huge, lavish wedding between former Ohio State Buckeyes and current Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk and La...

Spreading The Buckeye Love In Iraq
We've had more than our fair share of big fun at the expense of Ohio State of late, so we thought we'd try to even matters out by pointing out this picture, taken by Corporal Adam Knox, from Whitehall, Ohio, currently serving in Iraq. He's the brother of Deadspin reader Tom Knox, who forwarded the p...

It's A Hat! It's A Hearing Aid! It's A Utensil!
A site we'd never heard of but are now addicted to called Patently Silly takes a look at all the ridiculous "inventions" that receive patents from the goverment. Recently, they featured. something called "Multi-Purpose Headgear", from a company called Sportniks. What are the multi purposes of this...

Let's Go Buckeyes! Yeah!
As we continue to sift through the rubble of last Thursday — a day we are perfectly comfortable with commemorating with the "Deadspin Festivus" moniker, from now into eternity — we check in again on Carl Monday, who, as always, reminds us to ask, "Are our libraries a beacon of light ... or a cessp...

Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...

Help Wanted In Iowa City
As Illini people, we have no love lost for the Iowa Hawkeyes, but we still have a bit of sympathy for their fans. First came that brutal loss to Northwestern State in the tournament. Another downside to that? It made it less likely that Indiana would come in and swoop the disliked Alford out of Io...

When The NCAA Tournament Destroys You
But there's a downside, of course, and anyone who was a fan of Kansas, Michigan State and, yes, Iowa can tell you how much pain this tournament can wreak. Above, via Extra Points, is a video of Iowa fans converging at a bar in Columbia, Mo., ready to cheer their Hawkeyes to an easy first-round victo...

NCAA Pants Party: Iowa Vs. Northwestern State
Iowa Hawkeyes (25-8) vs. Northwestern State Demons (25-7). When: Friday, 12:25 p.m. Where: Auburn Hills, Mich....

NCAA Pants Party: Ohio State Vs. Davidson
Ohio State Buckeyes (25-5) vs. Davidson Wildcats (20-10). When: Friday, 12:15 p.m. Where: Dayton, Ohio....

Iowa Hawkeyes
1. Jeff Horner Induces Pee-Phobia. If you're ever in a bathroom with Jeff, watch out... he may slap your ass. And then what will you do? Surely you can't just go on holding it. That's bad for you. Probably give you cancer. Also, Horner is Iowa's best player. Watch out ... he'll be leading the Hawks ...

Ohio State Buckeyes
1. Wait Till Next Year. The Buckeyes are poised to make a nice run this month, but things will get really interesting next year when the "Thad Five" come to town. Ohio State has five highly rated recruits incoming, led by seven-footer Greg Oden out of Indianapolis. Oden is sure to be the biggest thi...

Illinois Joins The Ranks Of The Defeated
That nasty Iowa defense spent the day sweating Dee Brown into a 2-of-14 performance from field, holding him to just six points and polishing off a 63-48 Iowa victory....

Are The Buckeyes In Trouble Again?
We don't want to overstep our bounds here — no, really — but we've been hearing a pretty persistant rumor in recent days concerning the Ohio State football program. If the rumors are true, be on the lookout for potential sanctions against the Buckeyes, with the offenses ranging from taking tests f...

Maurice Clarett's Experienced Defense Team
Today's Maurice Clarett update: The "troubled" — that is to say, "known for pretty much everything other than being a football player — posted a $50,000 bond to be released after his charges of aggravated robbery. We'll put aside for a moment how a guy with little discernible income over the last ...

Laura Quinn Gives Us A Fiesta Of Pain
Thoughts while watching about three hundred shots of Brady Quinn's sister, Laura, during the Fiesta Bowl last night: 1. We kind of miss that TV show, Xena, Warrior Princess. 2. We thought A.J. Hawk was some sort of famous skateboarder. Apparently we're confused. 3. Brent Musberger is still al...

The Weird Turns Of Maurice Clarett
We've been trying to get our minds around this whole Maurice Clarett story since we heard about it, but it's almost too confusing for us to keep up with. To recap:...

The Trophy Monstrosity
Via TrojanWire and Every Day Should Be Saturday, we present the trophy given to the winner of the Fiesta Bowl this year. That's really it. This isn't actual size, but oh, if it were....

Fighting The Real Enemy: Fuchsia
From the Professors With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands Department: A professor at the University of Iowa has been receiving Internet threats after she claimed that the Iowa football team's propensity to color the locker room pink was sexist and homophobic. First off, we'd like to tell everyone ...

Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...

Let's See ... Mortgage, or OSU Tickets? Hmm ...
Now we know that everyone is very excited about the big Ohio State-Texas college football game tomorrow, and we understand, because the fevered hockey fans of Columbus (no, really. Swear) haven't had much rooting interest for a while....