yo Page 754 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shake Your Rump For Jeremy Shockey
This is the time of year when everyone starts freaking out about their New Years Eve plans. If you're one of those hot ladies we keep hearing so much about, Jeremy Shockey has a potential party plan for you....

Last Call For Deadspin Word Of The Year Nominations
Last week we asked for nominations for Deadspin Word of the Year, and you answered the call handsomely. From your herd of suggestions we've culled 55 entries — yes, yes, girls, "Mangino" is in there — and we'd probably like to get it to 70 or so before actual voting commences. So if you were unable ...

Everything Can Change In A Blink
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....


Turning A Weary Eye Towards Football
• 1:00 or 4:00 — NFL: FOX Distribution Map [FOX] • 1:00 and 4:00 — NFL: CBS Distribution Maps: Early and Late [CBS] • 1:00 — Movie: Big Trouble [Comedy Central] • 2:30 — Soccer: Serie A, Milan vs. Torino [FSC] • 2:30 — Dog Show!: Pro-Plan Champions Cup [ESPN] • 3:00 — Movie: Lean on Me [BET] • 4:00 ...

Plucky Wizards Can't Hang With the Suns
The Washington Wizards have played better than expected since the loss of Gilbert Arenas, but there wasn't much of anything they could do to stop Phoenix. The Suns recorded a flat-out ridiculous 42 assists on their 50 field goals. If I hadn't been there to see it I'm not sure I would have believed i...

Bronson Arroyo Brings The Rock
Last night, we saw the Majestic Rock that is The Sword. We left quite rocked. But we ain't seen nothin' yet; Bronson Arroyo is on tour....

He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...

A-Rod Is Not A Pleasant Landlord
When people defend Alex Rodriguez — because, you know, in a few circles, he's somewhat unpopular — they often point to the amount of charity work he does. But there might be less to that charity business that meets the proverbial eye. And he's not much of a landlord....

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...

Words Fail Us. Please Proceed To Photo
Well, women's professional golf has just advanced on my list of favorite sports from No. 109 to No. 63 ... just ahead of cheese rolling, but still behind rugby and Calvinball. The dramatic upsurge in the standings is due to Anna Rawson, who earned her LPGA tour card this week. We are absolutely ce...

In A Way, Aren't We All John Maine?
For years, we have been plagued by the scourge of John Maine impersonators. We have fallen prey to this ourselves; heck, just more than a month ago, we thought Maine had shown up at our door, asking not for a dress, but for candy. One would think we would have learned to have been more skeptical....

Introducing The Dugout's "Football Guys"
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

John Maine Loves The Little Black Dress
If we know anything about baseball players, we know that they love to dress up in women's clothing. This is a verifiable fact, as true as the nose on your face and the whet of your whistle. Witness Exhibit 2732-A, Mets pitcher John Maine....

Don Imus Just Can't Quit You
If you prefer your radio hosts with faces like a 90-year-old saddle, then it's time to rejoice: Don Imus is back on the air! Was it really only eight months ago that the infamous "nappy-headed hos" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team sent the nation into a tither? Well, he's back, on W...

Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...

Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...

Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......