yo Page 794 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heat Take 1-0 Lead Despite Lottery Distractions
It is perhaps telling that, the morning after Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat looked strangely dominant in a Game 1 win over the Pistons, the NBA event that garnered the most online attention was the draft lottery, which was won by the Raptors, who now conveniently aren't run by a moron....
Eastern Conference Pants Party: Pistons Vs. Heat
As disappointed as some of us might be that we didn't get our LeBron-Wade Eastern Conference Final, we have a feeling it'll end up happening someday, somehow. Let's not get greedy just yet. Let's just watch to see if those workmanlike Pistons — who, for all their lack of popularity today, were Ameri...
Football, The Anime Way
Inspired by our scary Japanese baseball video yesterday, the gang at The Postmen dug up this apparent Japanese anime instructional video for how to play the game of American football....
At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...
Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....
It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...
Many Japanese Baseball People Screaming
Someone sent us this "video" that appears to be a commercial for a Japanese baseball ... something. We have no idea what it's about, what's going on, or what it means ... but we do know that we are truly philosophically scarred by the whole thing....
The Closer: Mr. Met Kicks Some Cross-Town Booty
Notes from a day in baseball:...
LeBron Finally Runs Out Of Magic Dust
As much as we loved the idea of LeBron James swooping from the heavens and lifting his team, all by his lonesome, into the conference finals and beyond, yesterday's easy win by the Pistons was pretty much inevitable. When you team is essentially just one player, and that one player scores only six p...
No, I'm Sorry, You Can't Get A Witness
A competitive first half gave way to a Detroit smothering in the second half, and the Detroit Pistons have advanced in the Eastern Conference playoffs. LeBron James had 27 total, but was held to just 6 points in the second half. Of course, those 6 points did account for over 25% of the Cavs total ...
This Feels... Big.
The Pistons and Cavs will be tipping off any minute now. I can't be sure of what, but we're about to witness something. I think just about everyone in the universe is rooting for the Cavs, with the exception of hardcore Pistons fans. Everyone either wants to see LeBron win, or wants to see LeBron...
And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......
LeBron Goes For It All Tonight
No. 1 email we've received over the last 48 hours: "Hey, asshead, still think LeBron's playoff debut is unremarkable?" (Answer: OK, maybe he's doing all right.)...
Hey, It's Rivalry Week!
Ah, to be a Yankees fan at Shea Stadium. It's a good thing that someone is rudely making rabbit ears behind this kids' head, or else he'd surely be clocked by the other kid with the miniature bat. We're not sure what to think of interleague play. On one hand, a game between the Mets and Yankees th...
Hey, Kids, Let's Play Nintendo!
Thanks to SporTech Matter for this beauty of a find: It's the actual original 1987 television commercial for RBI Baseball, the Nintendo game that we (and, we suspect, the majority of you) spent most our youth playing until we were yelled at to go to bed....
It's Playoff Time! Everybody Grab A Ball!
Before we talk about last night's Clippers' win over the Suns, can we just say how disappointed we were that there wasn't a single incident of a grown man wounding the genitals of another grown man?...
Last Call For The Clips
The Cavaliers', uh, somewhat unexpected rattling-off of three consecutive wins over the Pistons has overshadowed what had been the plucky little engine that could of the postseason: The Clippers, who face elimination at the Staples Center tonight against the Suns....
Yeah, This Guy's Brando
So here's the deal: You're a college baseball player, and you need to get on base to get a rally started. There's an inside pitch, and it's somewhat close to you ... so you make the questionable decision to pretend that it hit you....
We Are All Stunned
Well. It's little wonder the The NBA Is Back! platitudes are being brought back out there. This is downright fun....
LeBron's Chance To Take Over
Well, for those of you who are just now waking up from that Clippers-Suns epic last night, there's no time to rest, people. Two more games tonight, with the Mavericks trying to finish off the defending champions and, most compellingly, LeBron James and the Cavaliers continuing their unlikely quest...