yo Page 794 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keyshawn's Final Moments As A Panther
If you want to relieve the sublime comedy of Keyshawn Johnson's "excitement" after learning that the Carolina Panthers drafted his "buddy" Dwayne Jarrett — thus securing his release from the team — the video above has the complete footage. It was funny at the time, but it improves considerably knowi...
Please Don't Let This Series Ever End
It is clear, at this point, that the Mavericks-Warriors series is hazardous to the health of anyone happening to be watching at home. What a travesty that these beautiful, crazed, maddening games are ending so late; it's impossible to watch this series and not think the NBA might be the most league ...
Golden State's Chance To Make History (And Probably Kill Cuban)
Imagine the ramifications if, perchance, the Warriors eliminate the Mavericks tonight. First off, poor Dirk Nowitzki might never show his face in public again, or at least not around his coach. We'll have proof that the Warriors sold their souls to the devil. And Don Nelson will have his final, brut...
In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....
Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...
Tracy McGrady Has His Alpha Dog Night
In the last three days, Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard and, uh, Antawn Jamison have been swept out of the playoffs, and Kobe Bryant, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson don't seem too far behind. (And don't get us started on Dirk.) The superstars are off to slow playoff starts, so it's encoura...
Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...
Heat Don't Make Much Of A Fuss About Leaving
A byproduct of the supposedly middling, uninspiring champions of the last year — the Colts, the Cardinals, the Heat — is the collapse to level soil the next season. A team that overachieves in the postseason one year is likely to return to equilibrium the next. We'll see what happens with the Colts,...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
That's It For The Mavericks, Folks! Please Drive Safely
How quickly we forget the last time the East Bay lost a major chunk of freeway: 1989, when the Loma Prieta earthquake performed the honors. The Oakland Athletics won the World Series a couple of weeks later, of course. On Sunday it was Cledus Snow, sans Bandit, jack-knifing his rig in a fiery crash ...
Think Twice Before Kicking Jimmy's Sorry Ass
If I did ever happen to find myself in a fight with Jimmy, he couldn't do anything to me worse than subject me to this woman's profane shrieking. Please, dude, can you stop whaling on Jimmy for a second, and Marty McSorley this broad?...
Alonzo Mourning Came Back For This?
The Miami Heat's comeback attempt down the stretch imploded because of a flurry of Dwyane Wade turnovers, and — of all things — Ben Wallace shooting free throws like Larry freaking Bird....
Grant Hill's Goodbye Party Was Not Much Fun
Out of politeness more than anything else, I thought maybe I should take a second to acknowledge that the NBA did still exist and actually operated on the NFL's special day. Its importance, obviously, is miniscule when in comparison to the issue of which college superstars will lead last year's 3-13...
Giants Elect Not To Fill Their Obvious Need At QB
With the 20th pick of the NFL Draft, the New York Giants select Aaron Ross, CB, Texas. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
As Per Usual, Jets Fans Are The Star Of The Show
With the 14th pick of the NFL Draft, the New York Jets select Darrelle Revis, CB, Pitt. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Will Ferrell Teaches Twinkie Protection Techniques
According to Sports by Brooks, this will be running at some point today on the NFL Network, which means that many of you will only see it here because you can't turn away from the intense beefcake appeal of Chris Berman. So enjoy it here....
You Believe? Well, Yeah, Why Wouldn't You?
It's a credit to the Golden State Warriors that those "We Believe" t-shirts have become a little bit redundant. It's not like it takes some incredible leap of faith to believe when your team is right in front of you, thoroughly embarrassing the Dallas Mavericks. Mark Cuban should call Golden State's...
Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....
The NBA Is So Damned Cool Sometimes
You know what the NBA Finals needs more of? Douchebags!...
Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...