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The Flash Mob Was Canceled, But Nobody Told Stuart Scott, Trent Dilfer, And Steve Young

Your morning roundup for Oct. 18, the day those dastardly criminal penguins got away with it. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.


What we watched: The Dolphins and Jets do all they could to set football back 50 years. Miami being awful is somewhat expected, what with somebody named Matt Moore under center and an owner who already understands this season is beyond being saved. But the Jets? They were supposed to be a Super Bowl team. Yet here they were, a three-game losing streak in tow, hosting a listless, winless opponent, and all they could muster through the first quarter was 10 yards of offense and not a single first down. And somehow, they had the lead.

There no doubt were more than a few folks tuning in hoping to see Brandon Marshall live up to his promise to get ejected and maybe start a brawl before the half. Instead, all we got was Marshall running out of bounds and dropping a touchdown pass, which does keep his streak of TD drops in every game this season intact. Twitter seemed to declare the Dolphins the frontrunners in the Suck for Luck sweepstakes after last night, and it's hard to disagree. But, terrible though they are, for the sake of those fans who have to endure this, perhaps the Dolphins shouldn't be so obvious about it.



Nolan Ryan guarantees his team will lose two games: "I think we'll get it done in six." [ESPN]


NFL tradefuckingdeadline: "Nothing is happening." [PFT]

Guess this counts as a positive for the Dolphins: "It was a Miami success of sorts that Marshall managed not to get thrown out in the second quarter as he had said last week. Not that it mattered because Miami's so-called elite receiver was the one falling out of bounds and dropping the touchdown and failing to make any play that really made a difference." [Miami Herald]


Your Miniature Golf Trick Shots Interlude:

No way! All coaches in the old days had better respect for the game!: "Of course, this wasn't the first time a little bad blood created a memorable conflict in the NFL. Some other noteworthy incidents involving combustible coaches..." [Los Angeles Times]


Looks like Missouri to the SEC is happening: "The person said that Missouri's decision to apply for membership to the SEC was "inevitable and imminent," although a specific timeframe has yet to be set. Missouri's Board of Curators will meet on Thursday and Friday at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, where the process of withdrawing from the Big 12 and applying to the SEC is expected to begin. Expansion is not listed on the agenda, but there is a private session scheduled Thursday afternoon and Friday morning. After it applies, the person said that Missouri expected "no problems" with gathering enough votes among SEC presidents for it to become a member." [New York Times]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.


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