Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

The Mascot Fearsomeness Index

This image was lost some time after publication.

Alkaline Earth has ranked America's cities in terms of the combined ferocity of their professional sports team mascots. Your winner, quite appropriately, is Oakland, as I believe Raider fans are also the most likely group of fans to kill you and then barbeque your remains over an open spit at next week's tailgate.

The Warriors and Raiders each rated the maximum 4 points on the fearsomeness scale, offsetting the 1 earned by the Athletics. Nashville ranked 2nd with the Titans and Predators, with Phoenix coming in 3rd with the Diamondbacks, Coyotes, Suns, and Cardinals. I might have to argue with a little higher rating for Phoenix. I mean, you just can't do battle with the sun. The sun would even get the best of Raider fans, if they were allowed out of their cells for more than an hour a day.


Among the wussiest cities are Los Angeles, Seattle, Philadelphia and Baltimore. Los Angeles trots out the Clippers, Lakers, Angels and Kings... if the Saints end up moving to LA, Los Angeles should just go ahead and rename the entire city "Sissyville."

What City is Awesomest? [Alkaline Earth]

Share This Story