Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records.
• The Bruins beat the Canadiens in overtime last night and evened their series. Boston's Andrew Ference scored in the second period and celebrated in the manner you see above, which Ference says is not what you think:
"It looks awful; I just saw it," he said of the replay. "I can assure you that's not part of my repertoire. I think my glove got caught up. I can assure you that's not part of who I am or what I ever have been. It looks awful. I admit it and I completely apologize to how it looks. I was putting my fist in the air. I'm sorry. It does look awful. I don't know what else to say."
For what it's worth, NHL just hit Ference with a $2,500 fine.
• At some point soon, the Bulls will wake up and see on TV that the playoffs has started. Maybe then they'll stop making Tyler Hansbrough look like John Havlicek, and maybe then Derrick Rose won't have to do stuff like this to get a W:
• The Blazers got 16 points on 6-of-10 shooting out of what's left of Brandon Roy. The Roy saga is almost unbearably sad, and what's sadder still is that his career has disintegrated pretty much behind our backs. If he'd had the good fortune of playing in, say, New York, the press here would've turned this past season into the Lincoln funeral procession.
• The Brewers locked up Ryan Braun through his age-36 season, which is one of those silly gestures intended to demonstrate to fans that the Brewers are serious about contending but which will probably prevent them from doing just that.
• The New York Times mistakes Bud Selig for Cincinnatus.
• I think the fact of Barack Obama's birth in Hawaii is sufficiently well-established here on planet Earth that we don't need to attribute it to "some bloggers."
• Nate Silver explains what last week's poker indictments mean for the future of the game.
• Clarification: Amani Toomer does not actually think Roger Goodell is like the Nazi secret police.
• If I link here on Deadspin to a website commenting on the comments on Deadspin, do we fall into the same quantum singularity that the Bleacher Report opened up last week? Let's see what happens. Go here.
A few stories you might've missed.
Whiteouts: Here's an exceedingly polite letter to the Reds from the KKK asking for a "Klan Day" at the park.
Large Things: Holy shit look at that jellyfish.
Never Let Go: People pay $2,000 to feel like they're a part of the Clemson football experience, when they could drive to Charlotte and get kicked in the balls pretty much for free.