We re only a couple of weeks from Opening Day, so it s time to start previewing the season. Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we re going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don t Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at tips@deadspin.com. Today: The Seattle Mariners.
• 1. They're Happy Roger Clemens Is, Apparently, Retiring. On April 29th, 1986, Clemens set a major league record by striking out 20 Mariners in a nine inning game. This ranks, however, as only the second best outing Clemens has had against the M's, behind his October 14, 2000 ALCS performance in which he gave up just one hit in a complete game victory. That win put the series at 3-1 Yanks, and they took it in six.
• 2. They're Beautiful On the Inside. If you made an All-Time All Ugly Mariners Team, it would include Dave Henderson and Jay Buhner in the outfield. Dave Valle would catch, and Randy Johnson would obviously pitch. Steve Balboni and Ken Phelps would play first base and DH. The rest of it would be debatable, but those guys would be the locks.
• 3. Their History Goes Back Only So Far. Among other odd quirks to his nature, Mariners designated hitter Carl Everett denies that dinosaurs ever existed. He was quoted as saying, "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex." He also derided fossils of dinosaur bones as man-made fakes. This caused Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy to dub Everett "Jurassic Carl."
(Tomorrow: The Houston Astros)