Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!

Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose between your drinking game with The Internet Is For Zorn and Bleacher Report. The latter recommends Chad Johnson trade speculation for boozing, but I'm going with Jeremy Shockey and Jason Taylor.

A few quick hits as I prepare four posts about the Steelers' pick at 23:

Just in time, Dickipedia has added a Mel Kiper, Jr. entry. No doubt some of his curt comments to Todd McShay will flesh that out by the end of the day.

Already, Jake Long is making designs on his sizeable contract. And oooooohhhhhhweeeee, he's buying a Ford. Even though his daddy works for GMC. Least interesting rebellion ever. You work for Budweiser, dad? Well, here's Coors Light in your eye!

Marvel at the throbbing excitement that is the Cleveland Browns' war room. The Power and the Glory soundtrack makes an soporific scene enticing.

And, yes, Jets fans are bracing for the worst. And, failing that, bewbs!

(Pic credit to The700Level)