Fart-Gate Officially The Dumbest Sports "Scandal" Of The Year

So this is actually a thing now? Several major media outlets devoted real newsprint to the mysterious case of Tiger Woods' non-flatulence. Lawyers got involved. Official statements have been issued. Answers have been demanded. How did this come to be?

Blame the blogs, of course. (Including us.) But how were we to know that CBS would actually send takedown notices to YouTube, claiming copyright violations against the people who uploaded five second clips of a fart sound? Or that CBS would claim to have investigated the matter and ruled out Eldrick as the culprit? It's a breathtaking display in how to turn a stupid video you wish would go away into a viral smash hit. Not silent equals very deadly.

Everyone is talking now. USA Today. The New York Post. The Chicago Sun-Times. The Detroit Free Press has two stories about it! (Yet, somehow it didn't end up on SportsCenter's "Blog Buzz" today. Go figure.) Who says sports journalism is dying?

The saddest part, of course, is that it was completely obvious from the very beginning that Woods was never the culprit. I'm not even sure that anyone farted. It sounds more like a movie sound effect fart. Maybe it was someone goofing off with a microphone they thought was silent. A defective whoopie cushion? The fact that I've spent this much time trying to figure out the source of the raspberry makes me question my choice of careers a little bit.

And ... I'm over it. Later this afternoon, look for my gallery of Sports' Top 10 Poopy Pants Moments. You won't want to miss it.

FartGate — CBS Denies Tiger Supplied It [TMZ]
On Tiger clip from Buick Open, another type of outburst [USA Today]
Did Tiger Woods break par ... and break wind? [Detroit Free Press]
Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open [Deadspin]