After losing to the inept Steelers, and on the eve of hosting the Patriots, Jets head coach Rex Ryan instructed his players this week to take it easy. Actually, the phrase the Daily News relayed from Josh Cribbs, quoting his coach, was "don't do nothing for your wife."
Perhaps this meant simple chores. Conserve your precious energy, men. Don't put away groceries or Swiffer or help the children learn to read or none of that nonsense. Other Jets players saw it as an exhortation to avoid other forms of marital activity. You know. Other forms...? "Hanky panky," the Daily News intimated. "Stay off the rides at the carnal carnival," NBC Sports wrote with a wink that imitated a floating contact lens. Defensive lineman Sheldon Richardson apparently confirmed this nudge-nudge interpretation of Ryan's instructions, telling the media, "most definitely."
Here's a longer Cribbs quote, courtesy of ESPN New York:
“I saw it in his eyes in the team meeting," Cribbs said. "He really wants this game. I can tell he really wants this game. He was like, 'Rest your legs and go home. Don’t do nothing for your wife. Say: 'Baby, next week. I’m going to do it next week. I’m going to take out the trash next week. I’ll take the kids to practice next week. But I’ve got to rest for this game.' I’m going to tell him to put it on paper, so when I give it to my wife, I can be like, 'Hey, Rex said that I don’t got to take out the trash.’ So he might get a call from my wife.”
Was Ryan insisting on a week of chastity? Maybe not explicitly. But is it so farfetched to assume you're supposed to abstain when Rex Ryan, of all people, tells you to give your legs a rest?