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Bruce Arena Has Some Truly Wrongheaded Shit To Say About Nigel de Jong's Horror Tackle

It’s not surprising that Nigel de Jong managed to mangle an MLS player’s leg with a bone-crunching tackle. But it is impressively in-character that he only waited five games, and when he struck, he got one of the coolest guys in the league. He hasn’t been formally suspended, but he’ll most likely get a harsh penalty…

Attention Thief: MLS Coach Will Buy You New Boots If You Return The 32 You Stole

A shocking crime from great and peaceful nation of Canada: Some as-of-yet unidentified thief reportedly broke into the Vancouver Whitecaps’ training facility Monday night and absconded with a bunch of the players’ boots. Most likely inspired by the surrounding culture, the team’s manager has proposed a very Canadian…

Nobody Could Get Into The NYCFC Game At Yankee Stadium Because Of The Yankees' Stupid Ticket Policies

Hey remember how the Yankees changed their ticket policies to no longer accept print-at-home tickets? NYCFC, who also play in Yankee Stadium for some reason, announced Friday that they were planning to stop taking paper tickets too. They have a game today, two days later. In their release, the team said they’d be…

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Young American Stud Matt Miazga Set To Join Chelsea And Become New King Of English Soccer

Hell yeah, now this is more like it! While it was understandable if disappointing (and disappointing exactly because it was understandable) that Jordan Morris skipped out on the chance to take his talents to the Bundesliga and instead decided to start his pro career in MLS, we are not without hope that one brave…

Robert Sarver's Purchase Of Mallorca Is An Indictment Of The American Soccer System

Phoenix Suns owner and amateur intergenerational psychologist Robert Sarver has purchased a controlling stake in Mallorca, a Spanish soccer club currently playing in the country’s second division. The move is presumably good for Sarver and the rest of his ownership group, which includes noted soccer obsessive and…