This is promising German goalkeeper Marc-André ter Stegen, and holy shit.

We thought last night's own goal was the worst own goal. Nope. This own goal is, without a doubt, the worst own goal.

The United States are beating Germany at half 2-0 thanks to a great Jozy Altidore goal, the Germans trotting out a weaker side, and most importantly, ter Stegen's complete lack of a first touch. Here's how it sounded through the godly voice of Ian Darke: