Welcome to Deadspin’s IDIOT OF THE MONTH! Take a gander at these dunces and be reminded that a future in which artificial intelligence destroys all biological life on Earth might not be so bad after all.
Honorable Mention: Olivia Dunne
Olivia Dunne is set up such that she can do basically nothing for the rest of her time at LSU and graduate with millions of dollars in the bank. Why would she accept a sponsorship from a company that sells AI-generated homework help and risk pissing off her school? Not her brightest moment.
Honorable Mention: Everyone who filled out a bracket
Bet you didn’t have Southwestern Boonie State getting to the Sweet 16. Just pick names out of a hat next time.
Honorable Mention: World Baseball Classic naysayers
It fucking ruled. Yes, it sucks that Edwin Diaz got hurt. But the WBC fucking ruled.
Honorable Mention: Aaron Brooks
Look, you wouldn’t be the first guy to win a championship, get on a microphone, and thank Jesus. That’s fine, even if your coach realistically did more to get you there than the big guy upstairs. But Aaron Brooks took it a step further, springboarding from “Jesus is No. 1!” straight to “Islam is bad!” without missing a beat. This was not a great time to get into some crude theological debate.
Honorable Mention: Mark Adams
DON’T QUOTE BIBLE VERSES ABOUT SLAVERY TO YOUR PLAYERS, YOU IDIOT!
NOW YOU ARE OUT OF A JOB AND YOU DESERVE IT!
5. Man With Stupid Hat
If you’ve gotten this far, then you already know whom this is about. While we understand this person deserves to be on this list, we’re going to go about it in a different way and not say their name, since doing what they did to get on this list is their schtick for relevancy.
If you ignore a crying spoiled brat long enough, they will eventually shut up. So, please, ignore him and stop retweeting him.
His crime? The usual. Saying something dumb, racist, misogynist, or all three.
“Raise your hand if you knew ’Nip’ was an ethnic slur? I did not. Tell me how Mina Kimes’ life was impacted by this? Other than nailing herself to a cross, I don’t see the damage. She will dance to rap music calling black people N-words repeatedly without uttering a complaint.”
“Nailing myself to a cross?” ESPN’s Mina Kimes wrote in a quote tweet. “I made one joke and went back to work…because unlike you, I still talk about sports for a living. Have a great day.”
The response was perfect, as Kimes’ handling of this entire situation has been.
But unless you’re his next target, please, we beg of you: Ignore him.
4. Ja Morant
As far as epic nights with lasting consequences go, it feels like Ja Morant — and the staff at Shotgun Willies — got their money’s worth. The budding NBA superstar spent a large portion of March seeking a better way to relieve stress after he took to Instagram Live from the Denver gentleman’s club to show off his rapping acumen and a handgun.
The Grizzlies were almost as quick to react as the internet and sat him down for an indefinite period of time. The strip club incident — that was gradually leaked online after the initial IG Live story — looked like a helluva time, and had it not punctuated a week of Morant being in the news cycle for all the wrong reasons, Ja might have been able to skate.
From allegations of punching a 17-year-old during a pickup game, to threatening a mall cop, Morant should’ve been able to read the room. Instead, and thankfully for Deadspin and the internet, the only room Morant had eyes for was the champagne room — of which there is to be no sex and, apparently, no firearms.
3. Aaron Rodgers
Another month has passed, and with that comes yet another Idiot of the Month nomination for Aaron Rodgers. Within that time, Rodgers emerged from his darkness retreat, spouted a bunch of nonsense, went on his favorite show with Pat McAfee, and told the world he wants to play for the New York Jets, yet he’s still a Green Bay Packer. A-Rod even gave a supposed wish list (although he later denied this report) of players he’d like to play alongside in New York.
All this drama for a guy who had one of his worst years to date in 2022 and failed to lead his team to the postseason even when their final destiny was in their hands toward the end of the season. He’s been stringing everyone along since the Packers season ended, with his back and forth between playing or retiring. Sounds like another former Green Bay quarterback. This thing has been dragged out so long that nobody cares anymore. Play, don’t play, go to New York, whatever. Just make it happen already, Packers, so we can watch Rodgers win eight games again next year.
2. Toronto Raptors
It’s hard to fathom exactly what the Toronto Raptors were thinking when they came up with this jaunty bit of content for Women’s History Month.
Time of Death for Women’s History Month? Whatever time this was published on March 1.
Teams love to trot out their female employees once a year, usually on International Women’s Day, which is galling enough (we don’t want women in sports to be visible once a year, we want it all year round!), but not being able to find a single guy on your team to express anything women do well outside of “they birth everybody,” is really the pièce de resistance here. The video wasn’t up long; the Raptors took the piece down right quick after it started making the rounds on social media. But I was easily able to come up with something women do well outside of being “the only ones who can procreate.” For example, women can tell you when your idea for video content is going to make everyone laugh at you for being sexist jerkfaces during Women’s History Month.
See how easy that was?
1. Chris Curtis
There is nothing like when racism is spread on one bun and sexism on the other to make a scrumptious offensive sandwich. That is what Chris Curtis managed to pull off in a silly radio segment that resulted in him getting suspended from WEEI.
In a conversation about liquor on The Greg Hill Show, the crew delved into a conversation about the best “nips.” They decided to cobble together — live — a list of alcohols that provide the best sip a.k.a “nip.” Again, this entire conversation is about booze, not people. For those who like to nip other people, your pleasure is your business as long as it’s consensual.
Curtis decided this conversation was a great opportunity to make a joke about Mina Kimes. While the best nips were being discussed, he lightly dropped her name into the microphone. The word that was the subject of their conversation can also function as a slur towards Japanese people. Curtis took a deep dive into his racism files to hurl that one at a Korean person.
That is of course if his goal was to slur Kimes. Curtis defended himself by saying that when he brought her name into the conversation, he was talking about Mila Kunis’ nipples and had a slip of the tongue. If that explanation is true, in his mind the radio airwaves are a comfortable place to insert a woman’s body part into a conversation. A conversation that had nothing to do with human beings. Also, who among you casually abbreviates the word nipple in conversation?
Take a bow, Chris. You invented a sandwich that is perfect to be served on Yawkey Way.