mosesloaf Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....
Clint Dempsey Bangs One In With A Flying Side Volley
You know what's hard to do? This. Clint Dempsey has never embraced the workmanlike Yankee style that many American players appear to have stuck in their chromosomes. The man takes risks. He's good at it. It's why he's good....
Your Real Madrid-Barcelona Tercero Clásico Open Thread
Lots of really awesome and famous soccer players will play soccer against each other in Madrid in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. Cristiano Ronaldo will wow. Lionel Messi will wow. And the two team coaches, er, managers, will definitely wow. They always do. Sometimes the action ...
Real Salt Lake's Robbie Russell Scored 1590 On His SATs, Has Mother Who Was Hit By Shrapnel
Meet bearded on-field Einstein and armed insurrection survivor Robbie Russell. He plays for Real Salt Lake, which takes on Monterrey tonight for the CONCACAF Champions League title. The winner will be crowned the best club team in the region and advance to the FIFA Club World Cup, where Robbie Russe...
Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....
Geriatric Clemson Football Fans Have Finally Gone Too Far
Here are some guys who still talk about recovering that fumble in the end zone during the homecoming game 40 years ago. Give it up, though, for Clemson coach Dabo Swinney, who runs this fantasy football camp and is either a very committed actor or someone who has memorized enough stock pre-game sp...
What Real Salt Lake's Draw Last Night Says About American Soccer
Real Salt Lake squeaked out a crucial draw last night on a Monterrey pitch lined with football hash marks. (Don't forget that the Borregos Salvages or "Wild Rams" play here, too.) Argentine Javier Morales evened the score at 2-2 for the American side with an 89th-minute goal, giving RSL a fair cha...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit find its way into the wood chipper....
Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Segundo Clásico Open Thread
The Spanish Superbowl enters its second stage today in Valencia. This one is for the championship of the Copa del Rey. On Saturday, Real Madrid managed a shorthanded come-from-behind 1-1 draw in a league game. Over the next two weeks, the teams will play twice more to decide a Champions League semif...
Police Somehow Find 6-Foot-9, 300-Pound Former NBA Player Who Allegedly Pistol-Whipped A Guy At A BBQ
The Anne Arundel County (Maryland) cops on Tuesday arrested former NBA big big man Oliver Miller, who allegedly pistol-whipped a dude with a Glock at a barbeque on Sunday. Miller fled the scene in his 2003 BMW X5 with several buckets of coleslaw and the secret recipe for a vinegar-based sauce....
An Analysis Of Steve Nash's Emotions As He Becomes The Latest Nicki Minaj Lap Dance Victim
First, Chris Paul. Now, Steve Nash. Is no point guard safe from Nicki Minaj's candy-colored backside? Regard Nash's face as he receives a "lapdance" from the songstress last night at U.S. Airways Center. There is much to learn here about human behavior....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit puts down the gun and fights like a man....
Blood On The Walls: Choice Bits From Blazers Owner Paul Allen's New Book
Paul Allen of Microsoft fame and fortune just published a memoir called "Idea Man." Chapter 14 is about the Blazers and basketball. In it, Allen claims that he beat Clyde Drexler and Kiki Vandeweghe in a game of HORSE. He says his friendship with The Glide affected his judgment and caused him to for...
Qatari Government Begins Arresting World Cup Reporters 11 Years Before World Cup In Qatar
These Qataris don't wait around. The World Cup is set to kick off in Arabia during the summer of 2022, when temperatures will exceed the boiling point of steel and most life forms will already be extinct. So why not start oppressing reporters now?...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets displaced by a more successful invasive species....
American Almost Wins Boston Marathon!
So close. So far. Kenya's Geoffrey Mutai ran the fastest marathon ever, but failed to officially break the world record because of a tailwind. American Ryan Hall finished fourth. The women's race, however, offered the best hope for an American win in 26 years, when Desiree Davila surged past Carol...
Victor Ortiz Versus Andre Berto Round Six: A Lesson In Gameness
Welterweights Victor Ortiz and Andre Berto put it down on Saturday night for the WBC title. It was the kind of fight where you catch yourself yelling at the TV, then step back and marvel that you're yelling at the TV while watching boxing, which gives you flashbacks to when you used to do that sor...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to powder and not the fun kind (for Daniel Snyder)....
Will The NBA Be Fined For Breaking Its Own Rules In Fining Kobe Bryant?
David Stern hit Kobe Bryant with a $100,000 fine on Wednesday after Bryant called a referee a "fucking faggot" the night prior. Jeremy Singer-Vine at Slate determined that Kobe's fine is unprecedented in NBA history. In fact, it probably violates the NBA's own constitution:...
Here's What Happens When A Same-Sex Couple Considers Kissing On Kiss-Cam
Now that the world has deemed the humorous display of two people of the same gender not kissing on the kiss-cam to be homophobic, what will the world make of the kiss-cam cutting away when two people of the same gender are poised to kiss? Is it homophobic? Is it funny? Does it make you angry?...