patrickredford Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Olympics Are For Humans, Not Horses
What is the purpose of the Olympics? For the few thousand bureaucrats who divvy up the Games, give out contracts, and get kickass bribes, it is to enrich themselves. For everyone outside of the corruption apparatus of the Olympics, they are an exhibit of the best sportspeople, playing their sports. ...
Dunk Victim Must Now Quit Basketball, Take Up An Instrument Or Something
Look at this windmill jam, and this Vans-wearing defender’s futile attempt to parry it away....
Here's The Best Sports Highlight Of The Day
The dead period in the sports calendar eases up soon with the arrival of the Olympics and the Premier League. But for now, please enjoy these good-as-hell doggos using the slide like athletic, quadruped three-year-old humans....
Report: Four Killed In Copa Libertadores Victory Celebrations In Colombia
Atletico Nacional won the Copa Libertadores last night over Ecuadorian side Independiente del Valle. The title is Nacional’s second continental championship, and their first in the post-Pablo Escobar era. Fans are, of course, celebrating their team’s title vigorously. Here’s a look at the in-stadium...
Vikings Backup QB Out Three Months After Reportedly Trying To Kick His Friend's Locked Door In
Professional athletes are just like us, in that they occasionally find creative, dumb ways to hurt themselves. They’ve picked up injuries stepping on cacti, celebrating a win, and trying to rescue pizzas. Today, we can add “trying to kick a door down after getting locked out” to this sad list. ...
Lucky Fan Gets A Smooch From Chase d'Arnaud
Chase d’Arnaud went running towards the bleachers looking for a foul ball, but instead he found someone to peck on the cheek. Aww!...
Craig Sager Will Miss The Olympics To Undergo Leukemia Treatment
Craig Sager has worked the Olympic basketball sidelines at every Games since the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. Sager is an employee of Turner Sports, but he’s crossed the aisle to NBC every four summers, and he was planning to do so again in Rio as recently as April. Sadly, he announced this after...
Communists' DNC Flag-Burning Interrupted By DeSean Jackson Fanboy
The Revolutionary Communist Party and First Amendment pioneer Gregory Johnson staged a flag burning outside the Democratic National Convention today, only to find a Philadelphia Eagles fan taking objection to their attempt at free-speech fulmination....
Warren Sapp Got Bitten By A Shark, But He's Okay
A good way to spend a summer afternoon is to go lobster fishing. A bad way to spend a summer afternoon is to get bit by a shark. The ocean is a mysterious place, full of mystery, joy, and hungry beasts. Warren Sapp experienced it all this afternoon....
This Pirates Fan Sacrificed His Body To Make The Catch Of The Night
Here’s a good argument for bringing your glove to the game....
NBA Players Union Votes To Pay For Health Insurance For Retired Players
The NBA players union announced today that they would begin funding health insurance for retired players who have played at least three years in the league. The deal is the first of its kind in major American sports, which makes sense given that the NBPA is in a very healthy position, especially in ...
Dirk Nowitzki Struggles With Soccer
Dirk Nowitzki officially re-signed with the Mavericks this afternoon, but he spent the day playing in a charity soccer game in Mainz and showed why he should stick with basketball....
Poll: Las Vegas Residents Don't Want Public Funds Used For An NFL Stadium
Las Vegas ABC station KTNV polled Clark County residents about whether or not they would want to pay $500 million in order to help build the Raiders an NFL stadium. Of the 750 people polled, 55 percent said they opposed spending half a billion dollars on a new stadium, while only 35 percent were in ...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Signs With Jets, Ending The Offseason's Most Futile Contract Standoff
Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets have finally agreed to a deal, per multiple reports. The disgruntled quarterback will make $12 million on a one-year deal....
DeMar DeRozan Almost Pulled Off A 360 Dunk Over A Defender
If DeMar DeRozan had managed to stuff this dunk in on this poor Chinese national teamer, it would have been one of the coolest dunks in the history of jams. As it stands, DeRozan finished just shy. The USA bench got a technical foul for their reaction, which seems unfair given that they just nearly ...
The Padres Gave Up One Of The Dumbest Walk-Offs Of The Season
The San Diego Padres lost to the Blue Jays last night in a game where Alex Dickerson hit the everliving shit out of a baseball, then lost tonight in incredibly cruel fashion. The game went to extra innings (after Russell Martin bat flipped away getting hit by a pitch), and Matt Kemp smacked a two-ru...
Politician Who Cooked Up Horrid Braves Stadium Deal Gets Voted Out Of Office
As chairman of Cobb County, Tim Lee helped oversee the deal that put Cobb County taxpayers on the hook for almost half a billion dollars to finance the Braves’ new stadium. Not only has the new traffic nightmare of a ball park depleted the county’s public parks fund and ushered in a new wave of sini...