patrickredford Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Handball Is The Best Olympic Sport You Don't Know Shit About
The United States has never won an Olympic handball medal, and neither the men’s or women’s team has even qualified since 1996, which means that NBC probably won’t cover the sport much over the next three weeks. This is a shame, because handball is the shit....
French Midfielder Loses A Chunk Of His Ear In Debut With New Club<em></em>
Jeremy Menez left AC Milan for Bordeaux two days ago with two ears. He left his Bordeaux debut with one-and-a-half....
I'm Inspired By This Popcorn Vendor
Innovation is real and strong and it’s my friend....
Navorro Bowman Just Got Paid
Per Adam Schefter, 49ers linebacker Navorro Bowman just received a 4-year, $44 million extension with three years left on his current deal. This means his contract is now for 7 years and $77 million, although only $20 million of that is guaranteed because NFL contracts are a lie....
Mass Protests Are Following The Olympic Torch All Over Rio
Financially speaking, the Olympics are a huge scam that allows Olympic committees, bureaucrats, and contractors to get rich at the expense of Brazil’s government and its citizens. Brazil’s economy is in the toilet, and it has a staggering inequality problem. There have been protests the entire time ...
Olympic Soccer Crowd Trolls Hope Solo With "Zika!" Chants
A week ago, United States national team keeper Hope Solo posted a pair of photos on her Instagram showing off the extremely large arsenal of anti-mosquito products she was bringing to Brazil to stave off the Zika virus. This afternoon, in the United States’ opening win over New Zealand, she was roas...
Get A Load Of This Heinous, Game-Losing Wild Pitch
With the Miami Marlins leading the Cubs by two runs heading into the bottom, Don Mattingly brought in A.J. Ramos. Immediately, everything went to shit....
The Modern Olympics Were Founded By A French Baron Who Was Sad That France Kept Losing Wars<em></em>
If you were looking to create an object that was the perfect physical manifestation of the Summer Olympics’ contradictory relationship with the partially invented history they sprang from, you could do a lot worse than the Olympic Torch....
Mariners Fan Fights Stadium Netting, Loses
Hanley Ramirez jerked a big dong this evening, sending a Wade LeBlanc fastball some 455 feet into the Seattle evening. It nestled its way into the netting above the scoreboard in left field, thus beginning this enterprising Ken Griffey Jr. fan’s treasure hunt. ...
Japanese Gymnast Reportedly Racks Up $5,000 Bill Playing <i>Pokémon Go</i> At The Olympics
Kohei Uchimura is a six-time world champion gymnast, a four-time gold medalist at the Olympics, and, apparently, an aspiring Pokémon trainer. Playing Pokémon Go in different locales can be a great way to accrue a collection of new monsters, but it can also cost you severely. Uchimura reportedly play...
![Phillies Fan Ejected By Home Plate Umpire For Heckling [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/odqxoiu5lwmewz59cnfg.jpg)
Phillies Fan Ejected By Home Plate Umpire For Heckling [UPDATE]
Heckling is built into baseball. The game is slow and judgment-dependent, and for the fans close to the action at home plate, giving it to the players and umpires is a good enough way to pass the time and possibly influence the outcome of the game....
Joey Votto Owns Clown-Ass Reds Fan
Don’t try to pull any shit on Joey Votto. Asking for some charity while sitting in some expensive seats? That’ll get you a taste of Joey Votto’s praxis. Trying to catch a foul ball and getting in Votto’s way? He’ll pull your card. ...
Cowboys QB Kellen Moore Broke His Ankle At Training Camp
The Dallas Cowboys quarterback issues continued at their Oxnard, CA training camp this evening. Tony Romo had to deny that he was fat earlier today, but things have gotten much worse now, as his backup Kellen Moore just broke his ankle. He was apparently hurt at the line of scrimmage when someone ro...
Golf At The Olympics Will Be Played In A Goddamn Zoo<em></em>
The golf tournament at the Rio Olympics starts next Thursday. This is the first time golf has been at the Olympics since 1904, but stars like Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, and Dustin Johnson will not be there. However, a bunch of capybaras, sloths, and other critters (like mini crocodiles) will....
Tony La Russa Enjoys Baseball Game
Tony La Russa’s not having it, man....
John McEnroe Brought The Heat
The best first pitch of 2016 does not belong to a 92-year-old World War II veteran, Snoop Dogg, or, uh, whoever these people are. No, the honor goes to John McEnroe, who smoked this fastball in to open this evening’s Mets-Yankees game....
Team USA Did Some Cool Dunks Tonight
The best highlight that the future gold medal-winning basketball dudes of Team USA produced this week was DeMarcus Cousins mocking Draymond Green for broadcasting his dong to the masses. However, they smoked Nigeria by 44 points in a tune-up game tonight, and in the process, dunked the ball a lot....
I've Always Wanted To Visit "Coloradao"
As tipster Michael points out, that is not how you spell Colorado. Here are some since-deleted tweets from Colorado State recruits....
What's Going On Between The Dodgers And Yasiel Puig?
This afternoon’s trade fucking deadline came and went without Yasiel Puig switching teams, despite his Los Angeles Dodgers acquiring Josh Reddick. However, something much stranger happened. For a few hours, it was unclear whether Puig was still on the Dodgers, on his way to the minors, or on the lam...
Kick In The Face Sparks Brawl Between U.S., Bahrain Youth Teams
The United States U19 men’s national team lost to Bahrain today, 3-1, crashing out of the COTIF tournament in Spain despite defeating the hosts only a few nights earlier. Towards the end of the game, with the U.S. already deeply frustrated at being down to the tiny gulf nation, a Bahraini player har...