sussman-old Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
They Don't Snowboard In Bikinis, So Ratings Suffer
• 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Memphis [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Papajohns.com Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati [ESPN2] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Planes, Trains And Automobiles [Comedy] • 2:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: UCLA at Michigan [CBS] • 2:30 p.m. — Movie: Goodfellas [Spike] • 3:00 p.m. — NC...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...
McCowns For Everyone!
With just four games on the 4 o'clock table, three turned out to be amazing, while the fourth turned out to be Denver-Oakland, which was still passable as a competitive event....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while being strangled by a self-aware robotic hand ... • 7 p.m. — NCAA Women's Basketball: UNC at Tennessee. It's time for some hot undefeated-on-undefeated action. Two teams enter. One team leaves with a 20-point loss. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — BCS Selection Show. Next year, they plan on rol...
Even Australia Frowns Upon Drinking And Torturing Animals
It may not be dogfighting or cat juggling, but quokka abuse ranks right up there in the annals of asshattery. And a couple of Australia's finest rugby players are guilty of abusing the endangered marsupial animal on Rottnest Island. (In their defense, they appeared to be drunk.)...
Only YOU Can Prevent The Giants Passing Attack
The matchup of Rex Grossman and Eli Manning is one you'd think would result in one of the QBs getting benched in the near future if they don't play up to snuff. Grossman is throwing pretty well, all things considered, with over 200 yards passing and a score, even though most of his incompletions wer...
Geauxing Somewhere?
• Could Les Miles still go to Michigan? Well, no. But will he? [I'm Writing Sports] • The seven best types of plays in sports. [Joe Sports Fan] • More bench players isn't necessarily better for the Wiz. [We Rite Goode] • ♬ Philadelphia sports are cursed by Billy Penn ♬ [Ryan Parker Songs] • Did a fo...
Peyton's Good, But He'll Never Be A QB Like His Brother
About that "poor 1:00 game slate" thing: somehow I kept forgetting about the Indianapolis/Jacksonville game. Maybe we take for granted that they play twice a year and the matchup's always decent, or maybe it was just infected by all the other bad games much like Gary Gulman's theory about grapefruit...
England Will Be Awesome In Unknown Sports
As you sit there comfortably in the basement of your ivory tower, sipping your Red Bull and text messaging your co-workers, our nation's dominance — okay, reallygoodness — is being threatened by the very country who created us and taxed us without representation....
Traditionally, 11 Man Defenses Work Better
I've read in a couple places that the Redskins' first defensive play featured a 10-person formation in honor of Sean Taylor, which the Bills also thought was proper, because they used that play for a 22-yard gain. (Good thing it wasn't a 21-yard run.) The pride of Wallaceburg, Ontario and BGSU's own...
The Culinary Genius Of Bill Belichick
For some reason, today seems like a really, really, r-e-a-l-l-y slow sports day. Maybe it's because the NFL lineup at 1:00 is substandard. Maybe it's because Dan Shanoff is making nary a sound as he quietly crunchees the numbers to see if a three-loss team can make the BCS championship game. So t...
Shooting At The Net Yields More Goals? Brilliant!
After a humiliating, unprecedented loss to the Buffalo Sabres, Redstate.org probably thinks the Carolina Hurricanes deserve a do-over. After all, some of the goals Buffalo scored throughout the game were intentional, unfair, and uncalled for. It's the only sensible conclusion after Buffalo's eight —...
It Would Take Your Mother One... No, Two... Hours To Watch Bowling
• 12:30 p.m. — Movie: Napoleon Dynamite [Comedy Central] • 1:00 p.m. — Bowling: PBA Great Lakes Classic [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: White Men Can't Jump [A&E] • 2:00 p.m. — Skiing: FIS World Cup, tape delay [NBC] • 2:30 p.m. — Golf: V Foundation Celebrity Classic [ESPN2] • 3:00 p.m. — Golf: Father/S...
Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...
BCS Ups Dosage Of Crazy Pills
To all who believe that yesterday's BCS Holocaust is a firm sign that the NCAA needs a playoff system, then you can just watch the happy little Championship Subdivision and enjoy yourself some playoffs. To me, it's just yet another reason that this maniacal device of power conference destruction we ...