Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Buy Anna Kournikova For 15 Minutes

Add the Philadelphia Freedoms professional tennis team to the "Needs to Re-learn How Liam Neeson Reacts to Human Trafficking" list.

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As part of its "Play with Anna Kournikova!" fund-raising effort - which urges Russian blonde enthusiasts to "Place You Bid Now" (sic) - the Freedoms are offering Anna up to a "doubles format for a total of 15 minutes." Included in the package are "VIP Club invitations" and a "photo opportunity."

What a country! But what means this "doubles-format hit on the Freedoms center court at Villanova University," Philadelphia Freedom? Oh, really? Well, that's a disappointing bait and switch.

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Recommended opening bid: $2,500. If Enrique Iglesias throws in a courtside serenade, that drops to $25.

Good luck.

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