Dead Letters: Why Are You Still Covering Penn State? No One Gives A Shit

Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.  

Subject: Penn Fucking State

From: Drew Curtis
To: The Staff

why the fuck are you still covering this story? no one gives a shit. you are bordering on espn-esque coverage now with this crap.

joe paterno is fucking dead. and rotting in hell. jerry sandusky is rotting in jail wishing he was rotting in hell.

please stop this coverage. thank you in advance.

-drew

Subject: Deadspin is destroying my soul

From: Michael Chester
To: Erik Malinowski

For a long time I never even used to read Deadspin, I just thought it was some TMZ-sports bullshit that only put out tabloid shit. Before long I found Deadspin creeping into my killing time at work website rotation and fell in love. I never thought I would hate ESPN until I started seeing what true sports media could be like without having to gobble corporate knob. Then a short time ago you started to change. The most obvious of which was the comments. I’ve never posted a comment but always loved catching something hilarious at the end of an otherwise mundane story. Yeah the new comment section sucks but thats not why I read the site to begin with. But then, tonight it happened; I clicked on the link to a story and was forced to allow a bloodsucking fucking popup banner for Breaking Bad sit on my screen for what appeared to be 20 minutes before I could read the story. Deadspin has officially killed everything I ever loved about it. I fucking hate those ads that make you count down until they disappear, every person who works at Deadspin hates those fucking ads, the people that make those fucking ads hate those fucking ads. I just want to know why you’ve done this. I want to know who made this call. Is the money really that much better for that bullshit? Fuck. I feel like I just caught my parents putting the Christmas presents underneath the tree.

Blue Gehrig

Subject: [no subject]

From: tmckgc
To: The Staff

what the fuck?

From: Tim Burke
To: tmckgc

Was this in regard to something?

From: tmckgc
To: Tim Burke

Yeah the Robert Kraft video. F/U
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Subject: gayspin

From: doug fluenza
To: Barry Petchesky

great read today barry, enlightening as ever

But what if—just what if i don’t love with every fiber of my being men who put their penises inside the anal cavity of other men?

antiheterospin promotes the idea that no higher form of life exists than an openly gay human being..

how can i learn to love homosexuality as much as homosexualspin does?

sick balls,

dougie

Subject: RE: Prestigious University Penalized For “Lack Of Institutional Control” In Athletics Program

From: Ben Flint
To: Erik Malinowski

Hi Erik-
I was wondering if you could tell me how you could possibly put your name on work like this. I mean, not the actual content, I didn’t read it. I just meant the first line of the story. I take it that you are trying to be a journalist, which is whatever, but I mean fuck man.. Come on.... You’re telling me that you are already such a literary giant that you can’t be bothered to fucking proofread your work? Shit, not even the whole thing. The FIRST FUCKING line. The THIRD FUCKING word. I know this a retardedly stupid email to send to you, but I just don’t care. You get to write for a living, a profession that millions of people would love to have. And yet you obviously take it completely for granted.

DEADSPIN!

Subject: Bob Kraft video

From: Michael Cunningham
To: The Staff

I don’t get why this is even a story. Tom Cruz then Bob Kraft, Americans need to get a life!

Michael
Charlotte, NC

Subject: Football

From: “Pete”
To: The Staff

I had a question for you guys there aren’t any teams interested in brett favre is there?

Subject: order

From: David Sanchez
To: sales@networldfootball.co.uk
Bcc: The Staff

hello am Mark i send this enquiry in regards to order some Nets..well can i have some prices,types and do you take credit card..

Subject: dong pics

From: Lou
To: Barry Petchesky

Hey Dude - Where are this weeks dong pics?