How To Answer The Phone

Your phone rings. It isn’t one of the two people you talk to regularly, but also doesn’t appear to be a bill collector. And you, you’ve been answering the phone the same way since you were 12. Get yourself together.
There are four proper methods:
“[YOUR FIRST NAME, THEN YOUR LAST NAME]”
“This is [YOUR FIRST NAME]”
“Hey” (If you know the caller) or: “[ANY APPROPRIATE GREETING FOR YOUR EXISTING RELATIONSHIP]”
“Hi Mom, I was just about to call you!”
BAD:
“...... Hello? ......”
[BARELY AUDIBLE HIGH-PITCHED NOISE]
Anything you don’t want on speaker, like sex stuff


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