It's More Difficult To Shake Off 24 Hours Of ESPN Than One Might Think

• As if you needed proof, watching ESPN for 24 hours is a bad idea. • Cleveland celebrated its trip to the NBA Finals ... • ... and then got off to a rather rough start. • Tank Johnson is a new man. • Gene Upshaw is a smooth operator. • Eric Mangini is ACTING! • Give blood, get drunk. • Gary Sheffield has a lot to say. • This guy? NOT GAY. • Sportswriters are such dorks. • This logo made us swallow our own tongue. • Your dream of being O.J. Simpson is about to become a reality. • Yeah, athletes are dicks! • Kevin Durant, wussy. • Way to go, Ducks! • The Barbaro documentary will make you cry like a tiny child. • A real, live presidential candidate stooped to talking to us.

As mentioned, MJD's got the weekend off, and our man Shanoff is directing this movie until Monday. Remember to email him your tips and what-not, and send letters of support; he's gonna have to look at Roger Clemens' face all day Saturday, after all. We'll see you all Monday.