Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

The NBA will start its season soon, and its behemoths are running rampant across the nation. Boban Marjanovic is busy flipping-a-chick at the State Fair of Texas, and Joel Embiid is back on the public playgrounds of Philadelphia.

A tipster saw the Sixers center at Schuylkill River Park this weekend, with girlfriend Anne De Paula, a trainer, and “some other dude who was not in shape,” as well as his dog, Klaus Hinkie De Paula Embiid. In one highlight reel, Embiid showcases all the fundamentals of tennis: a forehand slice approach shot, quality shit-talking of a doubles partner, and a thrilling if illegal overhead smash. (Can’t touch the net with your racket.) It’s generally a fantastic idea for any Embiid-shaped tennis player to loiter at the net and dare every fool to try a lob.

Just be careful, Joel! It’s very easy to get hurt playing tennis. You might trip on a loose ball, fall, and end up with diarrhea. Anyway, here’s Klaus:

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H/t Shom

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