Locker Page 758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Denver Nuggets Are A Burning Clown Car Plunging Into A Gorge
The Denver Nuggets have lost 10 of their last 11 games; last night, they trailed the putrid 76ers by as many as 28 points before cobbling together enough dignity to make the final score look competitive. They're 19-30 at the moment, 11th in the stacked West, and 8.5 games out of the final playoff s...
Phil Jackson Is Full Of Crap Ideas About Basketball
Guys, Phil Jackson might be kind of dumb....
Brooklyn Man Takes Big Ol' Dump Outside Supermarket
I'm gonna go ahead and warn you right now that this video shows a man pooping in public. And it's not subtle or anything. You don't have to go searching the frame for the moment the poop arrives. But I tell you: It's the best goddamn poop video I've ever seen. By a grand measure. I don't regret ...
How To Not Get Shot To Death By A Police Officer
If you're reading this, congrats! You're definitely alive, and you're probably not being stopped or shot to death by a police officer at this very moment. This is half the battle. Now the hard part: If you're alive, there's a chance you'll get stopped by a police officer before you die, and if you...
Bobby Knight: The General Who Never Was
Sometimes a story comes along, jumps out at you, and won't let go. Such was the case last year with Jeremy Collins' beautifully-rendered memoir piece, "Thirteen Ways of Looking at Greg Maddux." It took a long time for the story to come together for Collins and when I finished my only concern was, "M...
What In The World Was DeMarcus Cousins Thinking On This Inbounds?
Did he think he was on offense? Did he think the Warriors were shooting on the other basket? Did he think the ball was being inbounded from behind him? Did he think he was guarding somebody who hadn't yet walked onto the court? Sometimes players make the wrong decision on defense, or react too slo...
Deadspin Up All Night: Four In One
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let's all move somewhere warm....
Fuck Ties
In formal or fucking situations, people gauge commitment by whether or not you're wearing a useless fashion accessory that serves no other purpose but to give death an upper hand. I'm talking about neckties, the bearers of mythical "power" and evolving "rules," leaving fashion writers tripping all o...
Fake 90's Commercial Has An Extremely Dark Twist
This sketch from RocketJump starts out as a pastiche of 1990s commercials for kids—you know, the ones that had fisheye lenses, a ton of electric guitar, and ATTITUDE—but things take a turn for the disgusting about 47 seconds in. You've been warned....
Why Nationwide Loves Its Dead-Kid Ad
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Gronk, warring with Canada, caveman masturbation, and more....
Kevin Durant Calls A Basketball Writer A Dumbass
The Oklahoma City Thunder gave forward Nick Collison a two-year extension today, and NBA reporter Chris Palmer criticized the contract and the team. So, Kevin Durant called him a dumbass....
How To Drive In The Snow, In A Regular-Ass Car, Without Freaking Out
First, a tale....
Do Not Even Fucking Think About Leaving Russell Westbrook Hanging
Seriously, it's a bad idea....
The Hawks Met Their Match In Anthony Davis
The Atlanta Hawks, a team that has swallowed up the rest of the Eastern Conference by playing a near-perfect imitation of Spursian super basketball, took their 19-game win streak to New Orleans last night to face Anthony Davis and the Pelicans. The Hawks may be an unrelenting monster, but they met a...
The Biblical Theory Of Why Fat Rappers Should Stay That Way
There's a story in the Bible about a guy named Samson, a very strong man with very long hair that had never been cut—and when it finally did get chopped off, he lost all his strength. It's the same thing with fat rappers....
Last Night's Clippers-Nets Game Set A Record For Free Throw Futility
If you were fortunate enough to be in attendance at Barclays Center for last evening's Clippers-Nets matchup, you witnessed history. The two teams combined to miss 27 of their 43 free throws, which set an all-time NBA record for failure at the charity stripe. We're pulling a deep cut for this one, w...
Basketball Hangs On Rim Forever, Delights Jeremy Lamb
Given how fast-paced and fluid basketball can be, it's always funny when some unexpected shit happens and throws off the entire rhythm of the game. That's exactly what went down during last night's game between the Thunder and Magic, when the ball just refused to let go of the rim....
Let's Watch Gronk Read A Sexy Passage From The Gronk Erotica
Rob Gronkowski made the expected visit to Jimmy Kimmel's television program tonight, and after admitting that he "hadn't read a book since the ninth grade" (claiming it was, uh, A Mockingbird To Remember), the Super Bowl champion tight end read a bit from the erotica novel written about him....
This TV Moment With Anthony Davis Isn't Strange Or Anything
Viewers watching NBA TV's broadcast (via a Fox Sports affiliate) of tonight's Hawks-Pelicans game—one that finally broke Atlanta's win streak—got a special EXTREME CLOSEUP of New Orleans star Anthony Davis's face. The Vine is even better to show your children:...