Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Man, Mario Balotelli Is Going Through Some Shit

Illustration for article titled Man, Mario Balotelli Is Going Through Some Shit

Here are three things that have happened to exiled Liverpool and Italian national team striker Mario Balotelli in the last day or so:

1) Mario Balotelli had to practice shooting by himself on an empty net because he’s been in timeout for a long time and Liverpool still won’t let him practice with the rest of the team.

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2) Puma released Mario Balotelli’s new line of soccer gear. It consisted of cleats that you can’t really kick well in, and a soccer ball that you can’t really kick well. Both come equipped with mohawks.

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3) Balotelli may be forced to take the black.

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