• The Dallas Mavericks fail to hold on to a 23-point lead against Brandon "Yeah, We'll Probably Shut Up About His Court-Time Complaints Now" Roy and the rest of the Portland Trailblazers, but mostly Roy, who tied the series at two [Oregonian].

• Going into last night's game against the San Antonio Spurs, the Memphis Grizzles had never won a home playoff game. A three-point win, fueled by a Zach Randolph three-pointer in the final minute, means the No. 8 seed has a 2-1 series lead on the No. 1 seed [Commercial Appeal]. Going into last night's game against the Denver Nuggets, the Oklahoma City Thunder had never won a road playoff game. A three-point win, fueled by a Serge Ibaka revitalization, has them on the verge of a sweep [Oklahoman] (Photo H/T Adam W)

• Washington Capitals fans started singing that "hey hey hey, goodbye" song after a shot of Semin gave them an insurmountable lead; this, after fashionista Sean Avery poked someone in the face and claimed he got bitten. Doesn't matter; the Rangers season is over [CSN Washington]. The Lightning throttled the Penguins 8-2 to send the series back down to Tampa Bay trailing three games to two [Tampa Tribune].

• Boston goalie Tim Thomas stopped a 2-on-1 break in the second OT. Shortly thereafter, the Bruins's Nathan Horton scored. Series shifts back to Montreal, with the Canadiens down three games to two [Boston Herald]. Kings goalie Jonathan Quick made 51 saves in an elimination-avoiding 3-1 victory over the San Jose Sharks [LA Times].

• Tipster Shaun B. writes of this picture, "Top of the fifth. A guy trying to throw back a Matt Kemp hr slaps a beer out of another man's hand. Drenched said man and a very foul-mouthed female. Here's video until which point Craggs has to do a crayonic rendering. Cubs beat the Dodgers 10-8. This is the year.

• When an unnamed Miami Dolphin was told about teammate Brandon Marshall getting stabbed this weekend, he texted, "And this is supposed to surprise me how?" Sincerely, The NFL Lockout [Miami Herald]

• Baltimore Ravens safety Tom Zbikowski beat another sack o' potatoes up last night to raise his "professional" boxing record to 4-0. Sincerely, The NFL Lockout. [Baltimore Sun]

• Former Wisconsin DE J.J. Watt does a 55 (and 1/2) box jump. Apparently, "this is what a first-round pick is made of right here." Interesting pre-draft hype. Sincerely, The NFL Lockout. [Buzzfeed]

• After the Lawton-Fort Sill Cavalry lost to Rochester in the Premier Basketball League finals, Coach Michael Ray Richardson called the league itself a joke. Foul disparities throughout the year and final game hinted at the fix being in, and all that. It got so bad that the Cavalry franchise folded. [The Oklahoman] (H/T Online Sports Guys)

"In professional sports, you have winners and losers but to sit here and cheat our owners, who have put in close to a million dollars in four years in minor league basketball and to take it away from us like that wasn't right," Richardson said. "To cheat our owners is a disgrace to minor league sports."

• Want a lasting tribute to last year's Eastern Washington University Eagles national football championship? Put in a $1,500 reserve bid by Thursday for a foosball table with "hand molded and detailed football players ... a light installed under the red turf allows for play in the dark ... [and] individually signed photo cards from all the players and coaches on the outside." [EWU.com]

• No, Norv Turner is likely not a suspect in the trailer-park poisonings of 10 dogs and, possibly, a cat no matter what this screenshot would seemingly intimate. [Sign On San Diego] (H/T Joe C.)

• British douchebag seems to think Atlanta represents a microcosm of the American sports-fan world. Or something. I couldn't get through the fourth paragraph. [CNN]

• With her highness Sharika in attendance, Barcelona defeated Osasuna 2-0 on goals by David Villa and Lionel Messi, who became the first to score 50 in a Spanish-league club season [BBC Sport]. Real Madrid crushed Valencia 6-3 [EuroSport]. Third part of the El Clasico soap opera commences Wednesday [Telegraph].

• On the eve of the eve of the eve of their UEFA Champions League semifinal against Schalke, Manchester United defeated Tim Howard and Everton 1-0 on a stellar header from Mexican dynamo Chicharito yesterday. [Goal]

• Today's soccer viewing recommendation: Bolton vs. Arsenal at 11 a.m. [Daily Mail]

Recently On Deadspin

A few stories you might've missed.

Tough Love: Brandon Marshall's wife of 10 months stabbed him in the gut this weekend.

Orbs: A fan makes Jason Richardson's ejection a little easier to swallow.

Sour Puss: Dr. D says that Tony LaRussa has herpetic neuralgia, not pinkeye.

Staying Put: It's starting to look a lot like the Kings will remain in Sacramento for the time being.